Excuse Me Ladies, But Isn't this the 21st Century?

It isn't my style to get up on my high horse, mostly because I have poor self esteem and general self loathing. However, I've noticed an issue lately that I can no longer be quiet about. I know my sister, Maggie, blogged about this a while back and I couldn't really relate since I was living in the city at the time. But now that I'm in the suburbs and am a member of the Parent-Teacher Organization (PTO) at my daughter's school, I've noticed it ten-fold. Many, if not the majority, of the women in my community do not have their own email address. Instead, they use their husband's. For example, if I want to email a mom about the girl scouts meeting, I have to send my correspondence to rickhasdick@gmail.com. Excuse me, but isn't it completely free to get your own email address? Does it not take literally two seconds to get one? I personally have four of my own and yes, this is a bit excessive but c'mon, just get an account in your own name! A little privacy is good in a relationship! Plus, if you have a husband like mine, he'll just leave his email on the screen and you can snoop your hearts out that way.

And another thing, it's okay if we womenfolk mow the lawn now and then. My brother-in-law was just visiting and he practically had a stroke when he saw me mowing the lawn (it's also a great excuse to burn a few calories and escape the in-laws!). Moreover, we of the feminine persuasion can even take out the garbage. In turn, here's a mind-blowing idea - the men in the house can cook dinner! And it doesn't even have to be on the grill - it can be inside!!

Think about it ladies. And next time I send you an email, wouldn't it be nice if I knew your husband wasn't going to read it first?

Duh, What's Up Doc?

I'm finally emerging in cyberspace! I've missed writing - all summer I think: this restaurant would be a fun thing to blog about, this would be a witty remark about suburban life for my blog, this picture of my house been completely trashed by my children would be fascinating for all to see. But alas, therein lies my lifelong problem - slackdom. Nonetheless, here I am and so much has happened in the last month, dear diary. But rather than ramble on I'll try and design a matching game where you can try and match the description of my fabulous summer so far with the picture - ho boy! If you get all seven answers correct, I will send you a prize of a sexy message to your inbox. How's that for motivation?

1. The world's #10 restaurant, Alinea where my friend David and I dined on gourmet food, including a dessert served on a pillow filled with lavender air.

2. Legoland Discovery Center

3. Forevertron

4. The Cronans come to La Grange!

5. Mom's 70th birthday!

6. Little Amerricka

7. I got a new toy!



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Pet Parade and Birthday Fun

Hello people. I am a little older than the last time I posted, but not exactly wiser. This time of year is always filled with celebrations - my birthday, followed by Kaveh's, then my mom's, my sister's and lastly Nina's. And now that we live in a small town, it is also coming to be known as Pet Parade time. The pet parade goes right down the center of La Grange, which could also be called "Main Street USA". It's got restaurants, cute little boutiques (of which some are sadly going out of business), some bars, a library, a fountain and a movie theater. I have to say I love my little town, especially during this time of year. So imagine how quaint it is during the pet parade - lots of low-budget floats, groups of kids doing flips and cheers, many marching bands and the most impressive - men in fez hats:

This guy was part of a group of men in fez hats who fashioned a motorized vehicle out of a beer cooler and a scooter. Pretty creative, huh? The best part of the parade is, of course, the tons of candy being tossed out to the kids. Here are N & N clutching their free gum:


They were pretty tired in this picture, so I decided to bump up the sugar intake:

That's better, aah. The parade is followed by a cheesy carnival with dangerous-looking rickety rides (which fortunately my kids are still too little and wimpy to want to ride) and speed freaks trying to get you to play their boardwalk games over and over again. A good time to be had by all! I ended up dropping a wad of cash to win the kids horrible stuffed animals that they fell in love with for about five minutes.

My birthday was a mixed bag. I had to go to work - bad. I got an iPhone - great! I had to go to a retirement party for someone at work after school - eh. I came home to a flooded kitchen floor because the dishwasher broke - bad. Then Kaveh broke a glass milk bottle on the floor - bad. Then he jammed something in the garbage disposal and I thought for sure he was going to lose it - very bad. But we all survived the night and followed it by a barbecue and bonfire in our backyard - good!

Tonight is Kaveh's birthday and Nina has a fever. She's pretty chipper though and we all enjoyed eating a Carvel ice cream cake. No Cookie Puss but pretty close. And then tomorrow is my last day of school for the summer!! Happy days are here again!

Master Swimmer

I am forcing myself to write since I shamefully see that the last post was 20 days ago. The school year is winding down like water being sucked down the drain. Everything is happening at once - I'm trying to wrap up my school year, the kids', get the garden done, get the house remodeled. Oy. Some good things have been happening though. We did get our kitchen slightly remodeled. I'll post pictures when it's completely done but our guy that's doing the work, Jesus, is a bit of a flake. We're, well Jesus is to be exact, redoing the tile in the bathroom too but only Jesus knows when that will get done. Such problems, I know. I sound spoiled but these are things we needed to do when we first moved in and are just getting around to a few three years later. Welcome to home ownership.

The big excitement in my life is that I joined the swim team! I was always a pool rat growing up. While other kids were at camp, I was at our neighborhood pool going to swim practices, swim meets and generally just bumming around the pool. I was pretty fast before puberty hit and then my desire to hang out with friends became greater than my desire to train twice a day to try and eventually go to the Olympics. Not that I was ever that good, but shit, maybe I coulda gone for the gold if I wasn't such a normal kid. But now is my chance! I joined a master's swim team and may actually do a meet. Some day. I started swimming again about a month ago as a last resort. You see I have plantar fasciitis and was basically told to avoid any impact on my feet. Gee, that's real easy to do when you work and have small children to run after. So since I couldn't get on my treadmill I decided to utilize the almost always empty pool at the gym. At first I was kind-of dreading it. But once I got in with some decent goggles and racing suit I felt great! The obese 70 year-old men complimented me on my speed and endurance and I felt like Michael Phelps I tell ya.

A few weeks later I joined this team, thinking I'd be hot shit. NOT. I'm in the second slowest lane but hey, that's okay. Trying to catch up to people 10 years older than you is actually a great way to burn calories! I just hope I don't hyperventilate along the way.
Swimmingly yours,
Cassie

Rushed

I guess it's my way to combat my major predisposition towards depression, but I've always kept myself way busier than I need to be. My mom always tells me, "You run around too much" and it's finally dawning on me that it's true. I believe I need to be busy to be happy. But is that so wrong? It used to be I'd busy myself with unhealthy things like partying and bad relationships with men. Now I'm busy schlepping the kids to their activities, going to one of my four Green committee meetings, working, going to physical therapy (plantar fasciitis = pain in the foot and in the ass), swimming (because it's the only exercise I can currently do without causing excruciating pain), and yes, some socializing, mostly with the ladies in my neighborhood who have kids. Especially now that it's nice out and we're not trapped indoors, every free moment is a big adventure.

So I guess that was my long winded explanation/lame excuse of not writing lately. Plus - is that really interesting? Not really. I'm hoping to be a bit more inspiring in 4 weeks (!) when it's summer break. Yes, that's right. School's almost out for summer and although we're having about 100 house guests and I've agreed to take on a couple of private clients, and oh yeah, do a summer project for my school district, I should have lots of free time. When I'm not working on my hit children's album or my novel, that is.

See ya! Gotta go watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the real reason why I'm not blogging so much anymore!

The Worst Pet Ever

Who the hell ever said fish were good pets? My dad, an avid fish lover, was visiting a few weeks ago and decided it would be a generous gift to give the kids a fish tank and some guppies. Since my hubbie is a former pet store employee (although that was over 15 years ago), I agreed thinking he would know how to care for the small and personality-less creatures. We got the tank all set up and put our four new family members in the living room.

Things were looking good at first. Before my dad even left to return home, the guppies had 8 little teeny-tiny cutie babies. They were so cute with big bulging eyes. Like this:

Aww! We were all optimistic about our future fish-filled lives. But then things started to decline. After a night away, less than 24 hours mind you, we return to a tank with no babies. Where did they go? Nina asks. Uh, maybe they're hiding in the plants. No, the fuckers ate the babies. How do I explain this to my small children? Strangely enough, they don't ask again.

A few days later, the grim reaper strikes again. One fish, "Sarah" croaks. Nina takes this especially hard, crying inconsolably. A few days later, another, then another, floating upside down in the small tank. Nina shrieks in horror. Niko cries too, but only because his TV show was turned off at the same time the death was discovered. I'm not crying because of the fish; I wanted to finish my show!! So much for the sensitive male.

Now only one fish remains and I truly believe Nina is going to need therapy. The other night at four in the morning, she was down by the fish tank shouting I can't see Mac! I don't see Mac! I race downstairs to make sure the child isn't sleep-walking. She is not, she's just having a panic attack over dead fish. I couldn't sleep. I was just lying awake worrying about the fish. Sigh. So far we still have this last remaining fish and every morning (and all day long actually) Nina runs to the tank to inspect for floating fish carcass. I almost wish it would die so we could move on with our lives. I know it sounds mean, but do you actually expect me to care about a creature who would eat their own babies??

Torturing Kids with Overstimulation

Last week I took my day off for Good Friday as an opportunity to get some shopping done with the kids. We drove an hour up north to meet a friend at the famous Gurnee Mills mall (about which the Handsome Family wrote a song if I recall correctly). We had four kids ages 5,4 and 3 and needless to say, it was pretty hard to get much shopping done. Many impulse purchases were made, but I think I got enough to get their little butts covered for now.

One of the highlights about our semi-annual trip to Gurnee Mills is a stop for lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. You must know of this place, even if you have not yet ventured there. The experience is just like being in a real rain forest - it's dark, it's raining, there are many wild animals and even a huge waterfall. Every 10 minutes or so, a loud thunder storm erupts and all of the animatronic animals start going berserk. Sounds really cool, right? Well, maybe if you're not under the age of 6. As soon as the thunder storm starts, the entire restaurant is full of screaming babies, toddlers and preschoolers. They all cower in their mothers' bosoms, waiting for the nightmare to be over. Some recover when the storm ends and are actually able to finish their lunch of various pieces of fried meat and/or potatoes, but some, sadly, never get over this horrifying experience. My friend's daughter, the youngest of the bunch and featured in the photo above, was hit hardest by the most unrelaxing lunch in history. Poor kid is still probably having nightmares about the place.

So even though I think the place is great for it's kitsch value, light-up drinks and exotic cocktails (of which I've never had), think twice before you waste your money on a meal full of screams and tears.