Torturing Kids with Overstimulation

Last week I took my day off for Good Friday as an opportunity to get some shopping done with the kids. We drove an hour up north to meet a friend at the famous Gurnee Mills mall (about which the Handsome Family wrote a song if I recall correctly). We had four kids ages 5,4 and 3 and needless to say, it was pretty hard to get much shopping done. Many impulse purchases were made, but I think I got enough to get their little butts covered for now.

One of the highlights about our semi-annual trip to Gurnee Mills is a stop for lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. You must know of this place, even if you have not yet ventured there. The experience is just like being in a real rain forest - it's dark, it's raining, there are many wild animals and even a huge waterfall. Every 10 minutes or so, a loud thunder storm erupts and all of the animatronic animals start going berserk. Sounds really cool, right? Well, maybe if you're not under the age of 6. As soon as the thunder storm starts, the entire restaurant is full of screaming babies, toddlers and preschoolers. They all cower in their mothers' bosoms, waiting for the nightmare to be over. Some recover when the storm ends and are actually able to finish their lunch of various pieces of fried meat and/or potatoes, but some, sadly, never get over this horrifying experience. My friend's daughter, the youngest of the bunch and featured in the photo above, was hit hardest by the most unrelaxing lunch in history. Poor kid is still probably having nightmares about the place.

So even though I think the place is great for it's kitsch value, light-up drinks and exotic cocktails (of which I've never had), think twice before you waste your money on a meal full of screams and tears.