The Worst Pet Ever

Who the hell ever said fish were good pets? My dad, an avid fish lover, was visiting a few weeks ago and decided it would be a generous gift to give the kids a fish tank and some guppies. Since my hubbie is a former pet store employee (although that was over 15 years ago), I agreed thinking he would know how to care for the small and personality-less creatures. We got the tank all set up and put our four new family members in the living room.

Things were looking good at first. Before my dad even left to return home, the guppies had 8 little teeny-tiny cutie babies. They were so cute with big bulging eyes. Like this:

Aww! We were all optimistic about our future fish-filled lives. But then things started to decline. After a night away, less than 24 hours mind you, we return to a tank with no babies. Where did they go? Nina asks. Uh, maybe they're hiding in the plants. No, the fuckers ate the babies. How do I explain this to my small children? Strangely enough, they don't ask again.

A few days later, the grim reaper strikes again. One fish, "Sarah" croaks. Nina takes this especially hard, crying inconsolably. A few days later, another, then another, floating upside down in the small tank. Nina shrieks in horror. Niko cries too, but only because his TV show was turned off at the same time the death was discovered. I'm not crying because of the fish; I wanted to finish my show!! So much for the sensitive male.

Now only one fish remains and I truly believe Nina is going to need therapy. The other night at four in the morning, she was down by the fish tank shouting I can't see Mac! I don't see Mac! I race downstairs to make sure the child isn't sleep-walking. She is not, she's just having a panic attack over dead fish. I couldn't sleep. I was just lying awake worrying about the fish. Sigh. So far we still have this last remaining fish and every morning (and all day long actually) Nina runs to the tank to inspect for floating fish carcass. I almost wish it would die so we could move on with our lives. I know it sounds mean, but do you actually expect me to care about a creature who would eat their own babies??

Torturing Kids with Overstimulation

Last week I took my day off for Good Friday as an opportunity to get some shopping done with the kids. We drove an hour up north to meet a friend at the famous Gurnee Mills mall (about which the Handsome Family wrote a song if I recall correctly). We had four kids ages 5,4 and 3 and needless to say, it was pretty hard to get much shopping done. Many impulse purchases were made, but I think I got enough to get their little butts covered for now.

One of the highlights about our semi-annual trip to Gurnee Mills is a stop for lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. You must know of this place, even if you have not yet ventured there. The experience is just like being in a real rain forest - it's dark, it's raining, there are many wild animals and even a huge waterfall. Every 10 minutes or so, a loud thunder storm erupts and all of the animatronic animals start going berserk. Sounds really cool, right? Well, maybe if you're not under the age of 6. As soon as the thunder storm starts, the entire restaurant is full of screaming babies, toddlers and preschoolers. They all cower in their mothers' bosoms, waiting for the nightmare to be over. Some recover when the storm ends and are actually able to finish their lunch of various pieces of fried meat and/or potatoes, but some, sadly, never get over this horrifying experience. My friend's daughter, the youngest of the bunch and featured in the photo above, was hit hardest by the most unrelaxing lunch in history. Poor kid is still probably having nightmares about the place.

So even though I think the place is great for it's kitsch value, light-up drinks and exotic cocktails (of which I've never had), think twice before you waste your money on a meal full of screams and tears.

When Mommy's Away

Last weekend, as you may recall, I did my annual "mommy on the town" spring break trip. This year it was back to SF, the land I used to call home for 12 years until I left in June 2006. This was definitely one of those trips that made me stop and think, "Why the fuck did I leave here again?" Not only is it one of the most beautiful cities in the world, one of the most progressive cities in the world, one of the most hilliest cities in the world which makes you feel like you're on top of the world, but it is the place where I feel truly loved. From the moment I stepped off the plane, my cell phone is ringing with people who want to see me and spend time with me. Not that I don't have friends where I live now, am am grateful to say that I have made a few close friends and love them dearly, but in SF I have a social circle. It really feels like an extended family. We've seen each other go through our phases and changes during our 20s, seen each other fall in love, fall out of love, settle down, have children, laugh together and mourn together.

So, needless to say, it was a very social weekend. While it was only 3 days, I jammed in as much action as I could possibly stand. I saw many people and their many children, but of course not everyone and definitely not for long enough. I guess it was just enough for me to return home knowing that the loved ones in San Francisco aren't really that far away at all.

Mommy Time

Once a year, this working mom is allowed to take a weekend to go on a "mommy trip". Well, my sisters and brothers, that weekend has arrived. I'll be taking off tomorrow afternoon for a three-night excursion to San Francisco. This will be the longest I've ever been away from the kids before. Sure, I feel a little guilty, but I know they're in good hands with their Baba.

It's really me I'm worried about - I have social engagements planned from pretty much the minute I land to the moment I get back on the plane on Sunday. Then I return to work the very next day. Will this former rock 'n roll momma have the staying power to dine, wine and converse just like in the old days? Well, we'll just have to see but I plan to give it my best shot!

Bon voyage!