Cute and Evil

Oy, The Guilt!

2010-04-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys (or probably just mom at this point), I just can't seem to make it on here. My life just is not that interesting, or maybe it's so interesting that I have no time to blog about it!

So here's the deal: I'll be taking a break until the school year lets out in early June, then I will be back writing, but I'm going to take a stab at writing micro short stories on here, pure fictional of course, since fiction is most likely more fun to read (and write) then retelling of the minutia of being a suburban mom.

So until then, be well and I'll try and make it through the rest of the school year. Now off to write another report about phonological processes disorders....

Trivial Pursuits

2010-02-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend K. and I attended our second annual fundraiser for our kids' elementary school. It was a silent auction and trivia night extravaganza. A very fancy event hosted at the neighborhood American Legion. Oh yeah, 50 year-old linoleum floors with decaying walls and American flags in every direction. Kind of, I mean exactly, like this:

But that's just how we roll here in La Grange. For the event you pair up with three other couples, create a theme, ours' was "Beer Olympics" (not my idea - I was pushing for the vampire-inspired table) and compete not only for the smartest in the trivia department but in the most eye-catching table. Sadly our team did not win in either category, but we did place #4 in the trivia competition, out of about 40 tables. Not bad, not bad. Plus K. was the only person in the freaking room to identify the artist from this piece of art (sorry it's so small):
Can YOU name the artist? Well, neither could I but my genius husband could. (It's Banksy, btw, a British graffiti artist - duh).

What surprised us the most last year was the amount of booze brought into this event. I mean, I usually see all of these prim and proper stay-at-home moms at Girl Scout meetings and PTO events and their husbands are usually wearing their business suits. But this night, to see some of them, many of them, in outrageous costumes carrying in gallon bottles of Jack Daniels made me restore my faith that people aren't as uptight around here as I thought.

Now back to reality of preparing for the grueling week ahead, but I'll be smiling whilst making the lunches tonight.

I Just Need Something to Do

2010-02-15T07:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay Mom, I know it's been forever since I've posted. Work's been killing me, the kids and their homework, activities and neediness has been killing me, combined with my other interests that lately take priority over writing, like knitting and reading and watching Angel on DVD. I guess there's just not enough time in the day, dammit.

So since so much time has passed, a few holidays have come and gone and while I have been having some fun lately with new and old friends, there are still many moments when I just don't feel like I belong in the Midwest. Or maybe it's just the suburbs where I don't belong. Or maybe it's just in an almost 4o year-old body. I'd much prefer to stay in my 20 year-old body and mind.

So an example of how sometimes I say to myself, "What the fuck?" happened the other night at swim practice. As I've mentioned before, last spring I joined a master's swim team and swim 2-3 times a week (okay, maybe it's more like 1-2) at the local high school. I thought I was fast, but man some of these other 40-somethings can blaze across the pool about a mile a minute without even taking a breath. It's very motivating to swim with such great athletes. This year I've ended up swimming with a small group of women who are slightly older than me and a heck of a lot faster. But I do my best to keep up without hyperventilating. On some nights, but not very recently, I share a lane with a dark-haired women, I'll call her Elaine. She and I are very compatible swimmers and I always have fun swimming with her - we push each other to swim at faster intervals and do a few more laps then the workout requires. She lives in the suburb next to mine which is well-known to be a little richer, a little whiter and a little snootier than mine. But whatever, she's nice enough. A while back she asked where I lived and I told her the name of my town. She asked, "Oh, do you know the _____'s?" "Sure," I responded, "Nina goes to school with their kids". "We used to own their house", she explains, "but we outgrew it". Now I've been to said house and it looked plenty big and beautiful to me.

So over the past few weeks "Elaine" hasn't been showing up for practice. Then one night last week she shows up, announcing she's been busy because she's just sold her house. "Wow - that was fast!", we all exclaimed. I immediately assumed that she's having financial trouble - I mean, the country is in a recession and all and perhaps her husband lost his job? "Why did you sell your house so quickly?" I pried, being my usual nosy self. "Oh, I don't know. It's really big and we fixed it up so perfectly and now it's done. We may just move to _____(neighboring and even richer and snottier suburb), or we may build something". Then she obliviously says, "I need something to do".

Gulp. Not to sound judgmental here but, honey, there's plenty to do besides spend money on yourself. Have you heard of that small earthquake that just devastated a place called Haiti? How about these people known as 'homeless' right next to your community? And, okay, if your not in the mood for a mitzvah, how about using your love of interior design working in the field? But life coach I am not, so I just simply stare at this woman with shock, dive in to the cool pool water and start swimming. I think I may have broken some personal records that night.

The Days After Christmas Suck a Little

2009-12-28T14:39:00.000-08:00

First there's the initial flirting - signs Christmas is coming. You start to see Santa's face peering at you in Walgreen's, the Halloween aisle at the Jewel is slowly replaced by red and green candies, then lots of cheap toys from China start to flood in. You start to get a little excited. Then at work, people start to talk of the holiday parties, the secret santa swap, and the treats start coming into the teacher's lunchroom. You're beginning to see what the fuss is all about. The kids start talking more and more about it too -wanting to watch that old dvd of Elf we have buried downstairs in the basement, scouring catalogs that arrive at the house for toys that will fulfill their dreams of a perfect Christmas.

Yes, pretty much since Halloween ended we have all been looking forward to Christmas. After Thanksgiving it was pretty much non-stop celebrating -cookie swaps, girl scout outings to sing to seniors at nursing homes, parties, drinking, eating, cooking, cute holiday cards flooding the mailbox everyday. Then, all of the sudden it's Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and now it's done. Not to say it wasn't the climax I wanted. It was great in every way. Sure, I missed my family and friends who live far away, but it was the first year where I felt as if I have really set down some roots here. But still, now it's done. All that's left to look forward for the next two months (or three or four) is snow and cold.

I guess instead of feeling all depressed that the holiday season is over (New Year's does not count for someone who has small children, unless you've got a babysitter which we're too broke to get at this point), I'll reflect on some of the highlights:

1) Our family got a karaoke machine.

2) I learned much more intimate details about neighbors and relatives thanks to a little over-drinking of the substance known as alcohol.

3) I get to relive my childhood by playing with my daughter's new dollhouse.

4) I got to eat lots of sweets and not feel guilty, since I will never eat anything bad for me again after Jan. 1st. Ever.

5) I am in the middle of a two-week vacation from work. Although the term vacation is used loosely here, since I've been stuck inside a lot with two active youngsters.

6) But I love my adorable, healthy, sweet, smart children. Most of the time.

7) Ditto for my husband.

Happy New Year, everyone! I promise to write more in 2010!!

Holiday Cheer

2009-12-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

Happy holidays, friends and families and cyber-stalkers! I am feeling a little relaxed because today is the first official day of Winter Break! Actually where I live in the Midwest, they just call it Christmas Break. They also have Christmas trees in the public schools and show the old VH1 video of David Bowie and Bing Crosby singing “Little Drummer Boy” to the entire school:

But what the hell, it’s not hard to get into the holiday spirit and since I celebrate pretty much all the holidays, who I am to get offended? Plus, David Bowie?! Awesome!

Tonight will be my block’s first annual progressive dinner party, otherwise known as The 12 Drinks of Christmas (don’t worry, Ma, they’re non-alcoholic of course). We start off with five families trekking out in the snow and the cold and go to one house in our ‘hood, have a drink or two, nosh on some ridiculously caloric appetizer while the 13+ kids reap havoc in the freshly cleaned home and then, after 30 minutes have passed, we get all our gear back on (that should take about 10 minutes by itself) and go to the next unsuspecting house. Our house is number four so the kids should be either completely exhausted or completely wacked from sugar by the time they get there.

We’re lucky that we moved to a block with 16 or so kids and most of their parents are fun and like-minded enough to hang out with us San Francisco ex-pats. We even have another family on our block who also hail from San Francisco so we're extra lucky. Tonight will be a good opportunity to further bond with the neighbors.

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Epilogue:

The 12 Drinks of Christmas have come and gone. Many sweet red and green drinks were consumed; songs were danced to, including "The Teaches of Peaches" when the kids were far away, and general good times were had. Unfortunately keeping the kids up until almost midnight resulted in some cranky children for the past two days, plus someone in this house (not me, I swear) puked, but 'tis the season for celebrating!

Syncronicity

2009-12-10T07:49:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone, seems like forever ago now. We went up to Wisconsin and had an intimate dinner of 40+ people and although we didn't even sit at a formal dining room table but rather on chairs with plates on our laps, nor did we pass the "thankerchief" that Niko made at school, it was a great night. Here's the cast and crew who attended:

The kids once again got on their Persian outfits and danced for the adults - they sure know how to charm 'em!

But on a sadder note, my paternal grandmother, Lillian, passed away the week before Thanksgiving. She was 97 and we weren't very close, but I did feel a sadness about losing my last grandparent and felt very sad for my dad. It's never easy to lose your mommy, I can only imagine. So the day I found out that she had died, Nina brought home a book from school that she informed me she needed to read that night and there would be a quiz on it the next day. So we snuggled on the couch to enjoy the day's children's book, I'll Love You Forever.

For those of you who don't know this kid's book, it is a beautiful story of a mother's love for her child. We start reading this delightful tale of how, even though this cute little boy causes havoc at home throughout his toddler, child and teen years, at the end of each day the mom goes into her sleeping child's room, picks him up and sings to him about loving him forever. But then the story progresses. The boy turns into a man and leaves his mother's house. Still, she drives across town, brings a freaking ladder on top of her car, climbs up to her son's room and rocks him in his sleep. "This is sad," Nina whines as she's reading. Story continues: He gets married, she again breaks into his house to rock the giant man in his sleep. But then, turn the page, the man says goodnight on the phone because his mom is too old and sick to leave the house. Then, next page, the son is driving over to his mom's house. He goes into her room, picks up the shriveled up hunched over mama and rocks her to sleep, singing the same loving song. At this point I have tears running down my face. Nina looks at me, realizes I'm crying and then she bursts out in tears. We hug each other, sobbing profusely. Niko gets on the other side of me and we have an emotional experience, except Niko soon falls asleep on my bosom. We manage to finish the story and see that the son is now a father, and he holds his child and sings to her the same song his mother sang to him.

Now, I'm not the most spiritual person but the fact that she brought home that book on the same day my grandmother died is no coincidence. What it was I'm not sure, but ever since I've realized something important - I will die some day.

With that, happy holidays!!

All This Homework is Killing Me!

2009-11-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

You'll notice in this picture of my adorable children that the boy is holding a teddy bear lovingly in his arm. Everyone, meet Barnaby Bear:

According to his over-priced and overly academic preschool, Barnaby has traveled all the way from England to "study abroad" with the children in suburban Chicago. Each weekend, a lucky student gets to bring the bear home and let him learn about our culture. This is surely exciting for the child. Yep, really cool. But for moms, at least this one, not so much.

First of all, there is a raging flu epidemic going around the country and the rest of the world (I think maybe even England!). But still, a germy, grimy stuffed animal is being passed from household to household where snotty, coughing, dirty preschoolers cuddle the bear like they gave birth to it. Does the bear get washed after each home visit? I do not have the answer to this question since my husband picked my son up from school on Friday. I smell the bear to see if I can detect germs via my olfactory sense. I do believe I smelled some germs, but at that point, Niko had been hugging and loving on the toy for a couple of hours already so the damage was done.

Not only do we have the germ bear in our house for the weekend, but there's homework that goes with it. We have to remember to take the thing everywhere we go, take pictures with it, get the pictures printed out and then make a collage with pictures and descriptions of all the fun and enriching things we did this weekend. And I use the "we" very loosely to mean my husband and I. So here it is Sunday night and Kaveh's scrambling to download the pictures, go get them printed while I try and think of things to write, in Barnaby Bear's first-person voice (English accent included) no less. Niko could barely remember what he did with his bear other than go down the slide with it, so I basically did the entire assignment and then coached Niko on what I wrote in case he was asked to summarize it in class tomorrow. I'm telling ya, preschool is no walk in the park these days!

And before the bear entered our life, I was helping Nina with an art project that was very loosely defined. She was given two milk jugs glued together and asked to make a character that the child would later write a story about. I have to say, Nina did most of the work - designed it, glued on the hair, drew the face, made the arms, legs, hands and feet. I just helped with the hot glue gun (from which I have a few third-degree burns to show). It turned out like this:

Pretty cute, eh? Sadly, I don't think some other students did much of the work themselves. Last week, when we were at Nina's school for conferences, we saw all of the other first grade's milk jugs. There was an Incredible Hulk that looked like it belonged in a museum, a horse back rider with a tailored jacket that fit the milk jug perfectly and another milk jug even lit up! Boy, some of those parents are really talented!
I bet they were the same ones who took Barnaby Bear to the opera.

Damn I'm Lazy

2009-11-11T12:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been awhile since I've been here, dear reader. I was going to use the excuse that I've been writing my first great novel for NaNoWriMo and must use every single keystroke for the purpose of completing that 50,000 word project. Well, it is now day 11 of the month and I've only got 2,800 words down. AND it sucks. As I'm writing I'm realizing I don't know how to write fiction, how to write dialogue or develop characters. Now if the story involved a report assessing a child's speech and language, I'd do a great job, but sadly I don't think that would be defined as "fiction".

I suppose the novel would be better if a) I had more time to write and b) I made more time to write. See, it's really just Buffy's fault. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, that is. This summer I started renting all of the show's DVDs and am now a full on addict. You really should watch some if you never have before. I'm on season six and the good news is that it only ran seven seasons, however, there is a spin-off series called Angel that I believe ran another seven seasons. Gulp.

Hopefully I will kick myself in the rear and get writing and my story will magically get better. But nothing will ever compare to Joss Whedon, so why am I even bothering??

Cyber Stalking

2009-10-05T19:29:00.001-07:00

That's what it's come down to. I'm separated from most of my loved ones as I have chosen to reside in a cute Midwestern suburb. I've made a few friends but my old and cherished ones, as well as most of my family, are far away. How do I cope with this constant loss? Well, I peer into their lives as much as possible via social media forums. Facebook is a particular fave. I read it like some read the morning paper - scouring it for the latest news and gossip in my friends' and families' lives.

And then there are the few ex-boyfriends on there that I just can't resist checking in on. I mean, really, when else in history did we have the chance to snoop into an old flame's life so frequently without the cops issuing a restraining order? Most of them (not like there are that many) are leading the same boring life as me - professional, 2.2 kids, living in the suburbs, maybe forming a cover band to play at block parties if they used to be in bands in college; you know the type. But occasionally I get to peer into a life that is way different then mine - the life of the serial monogamist.

Take for instance a past love, I'll call him Rick, whose been engaged 3 times since we broke up in 1994 but never married. I've read his "wall" where he and his girlfriend at the time would exchange lovey-dovey messages, announce that they're moving in together only to post a month later "Rick went from being in a relationship" to "single". This has happened twice in the last two years. I feel guilty even looking at such personal news, but then again, it's out there. Maybe he's even reading this post right now. I guess I'll know soon if I'm "unfriended".

So yes, pathetic as it may be, I do it. I bet you do too - why else would you be here?
Oh and, please don't unfriend me!

Keep On Writing On

2009-09-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Wow - I was just going through my blog roll and I've noticed that many of my friends blogs out there are inactive. Where are you people? I for one know it's mentally straining to maintain a blog, come up with a creative topic that's not going to bore the 5 regular readers you have, then sit down with some free time to actually write the dang thing. But this masochist won't give up, dammit, and neither should you!

Even though my posts aren't that regular, I refuse to admit defeat. I will continue to pick my brain for oh-so fascinating topics such as sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. Oh wait, I'm a suburban mom now so I guess it will rather be subjects like martial hardship, self-medicating with alcohol and singin' the I'm Getting Old blues. And since I really love to torture myself, I've recently signed on for NaNoWriMo and will be writing a 50,000 word novel (that's 175 words, baby) during the month of November. Yeah right, you're thinking. Well, me too but November's a ways away and probably by that time I'll be snowed in the house anyway. Come join me and we'll be novelists together!! I can already tell mine will be somewhere along the lines of Judy Blume's Forever meets Jim Carroll's (RIP) Basketball Diaries meets whoever wrote Bridget Jones' Diary, but a little low-brow writing lightens the soul, right?

Now off to help needy children communicate.

Birthday Parties are Ruining the World!

2009-09-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Look at all that junk up there. It looks pretty for a few minutes but then what happens to it?

Although I've lost my fervor a bit about this issue since my kid's birthday party was a couple of weeks ago, I still want to vent about this. Birthday parties, especially children's, are killing the universe. Strangling it, poisoning it. And I'm just as much to blame as the next schmo or schmoess. Think about, from the balloons to the crappy plastic party favors to the plastic forks and knives used to eat the crappy pizza and grocery store-bought cake, which probably has more plastic crap on top of it, you're doing more damage to the planet in one day than you probably do in a few months. Add some more plastic crappy games you buy for a jacked-up price at the party store, like pin the crown on the princess or Superman bingo, combined with the cheesy plastic tablecloths with pictures of Disney characters you use once since the sugared-up kids get all their pizza grease and cake frosting all over it. All this equals one big earth unfriendly event.

This is why I, most superior mother of the year, didn't really give my son (you know, the one to whom I so lovingly wrote the poem below) a birthday party. Sure, I still contributed to killing the planet by ordering pizza, buying a few crappy party favors and using Superman paper plates, but I just didn't put forth much energy in throwing him a party. I mean really, he doesn't exactly have any friends. Poor kid. He'll play with his big sister's pals and our neighbors, but sadly there are no boys his age around so he spends a lot of time with the ladies. So it was a very simple event with a few neighbors eating pizza and cake and running around outside our house. I threw a few plastic fish in a dirty ole' paint bucket and voila! Fishing game!

Boy am I a bad suburban mom.

My Baby is Four

2009-08-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

(Bear with me as I attempt to write a poem. I'm feeling pheklempt).

Four years ago, like yesterday.
I can still feel the burn, still hear the screams,
Coming from me.
(Didn't know I could even make those sounds).
I can feel your warmth and wetness in my arms
As your head bobbed around
Looking for nourishment.
I can smell the yeasty scent in your skin
And my own perspiration.

And later, when your big sister came in
Smothering you with kisses
I was nervous that you were getting smothered
But I tried to let her learn to love you
As I did.

Time went faster with you, the baby brother.
Held you in the sling most of the time
As I followed big sister around.
Soon you were on the move,
And even talking some.
Getting too big for that sling, or maybe I was just too small.

You've turned into a boy,
On your way to becoming a man.
Well, someday.
I guess you need to learn to read and write first.
But everyday you get a little smarter,
A little faster,
A little taller.
I'll try and grow with you.
Try and keep up.
All the while admiring you from a distance.

La Grange named Best Downtown by Chicago magazine

2009-08-20T06:46:00.001-07:00

Yes, my town is cute - it's unanimous!

Village named Best Downtown by Chicago magazine - La Grange, IL -

The Art of Tarof-ing

2009-08-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

Oh man, it's embarrassing to see the date of my last post. In order for you to forget how long it's been since I've written, dear readers, I will distract you by giving you compliments. You look so nice tonight! Have you lost weight? I love what you're doing with your hair!

Now, on to the topic at hand. What the heck does the title of my post mean? Well, if you know anything about Persian culture, you probably know. Tarof is a Persian word. It's a verb and while it doesn't have an easy translation in English, it basically means being extremely polite and not coming off as a selfish pig. Since I am married to a man who is half Persian and now live close to a lot of relatives on that side of the family, I have had to learn about and acquire many aspects of the culture. I must say, I really do love it, although at times I have put my foot in my mouth. Who me??? For example, one of my hubby's uncles or amoos (he's not really even an uncle but we just call all close family friends that) was telling me that his brother and sister-in-law were coming for a visit. "Oh great", I said, "and how long are they staying?" My father-in-law glared at me and said, "In our culture we don't ask how long our guests will stay. It is considered very rude". Gulp. I guess you're just supposed to buy a month's worth of extra food and hope for the best.

And to tarof is a very complicated interaction between people. It's really a set of rules of politeness that carry over to all sorts of situations. Basically anything that you want, you can't ask for and if it's offered to you, you should act like you don't want it. Now me being a very opportunistic type of person has a hard time with this. So if you go to someone's house and they offer you a very comfortable chair, you should say, oh no, you take it. I'll sit on the floor. If they offer you some tea, you should say, oh no, that's too much work for you. If it's time for dinner and you haven't eaten in a week and you're feeling faint, you must insist on everyone going ahead of you. It's such a civilized concept, huh? I found this adorable video of a man teaching his sons about tarof:

So now you have it. Next time you go to someone's house, try it out. I think you will score major points in your hosts' eyes and they may even look at you as a sophisticated person. So with that , I say goodnight. Go ahead, you close the page first. No really, I insist. Please. Here - just take my computer - I don't really even need it... .

Excuse Me Ladies, But Isn't this the 21st Century?

2009-07-11T19:41:00.001-07:00

It isn't my style to get up on my high horse, mostly because I have poor self esteem and general self loathing. However, I've noticed an issue lately that I can no longer be quiet about. I know my sister, Maggie, blogged about this a while back and I couldn't really relate since I was living in the city at the time. But now that I'm in the suburbs and am a member of the Parent-Teacher Organization (PTO) at my daughter's school, I've noticed it ten-fold. Many, if not the majority, of the women in my community do not have their own email address. Instead, they use their husband's. For example, if I want to email a mom about the girl scouts meeting, I have to send my correspondence to rickhasdick@gmail.com. Excuse me, but isn't it completely free to get your own email address? Does it not take literally two seconds to get one? I personally have four of my own and yes, this is a bit excessive but c'mon, just get an account in your own name! A little privacy is good in a relationship! Plus, if you have a husband like mine, he'll just leave his email on the screen and you can snoop your hearts out that way.

And another thing, it's okay if we womenfolk mow the lawn now and then. My brother-in-law was just visiting and he practically had a stroke when he saw me mowing the lawn (it's also a great excuse to burn a few calories and escape the in-laws!). Moreover, we of the feminine persuasion can even take out the garbage. In turn, here's a mind-blowing idea - the men in the house can cook dinner! And it doesn't even have to be on the grill - it can be inside!!

Think about it ladies. And next time I send you an email, wouldn't it be nice if I knew your husband wasn't going to read it first?

Duh, What's Up Doc?

2009-07-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm finally emerging in cyberspace! I've missed writing - all summer I think: this restaurant would be a fun thing to blog about, this would be a witty remark about suburban life for my blog, this picture of my house been completely trashed by my children would be fascinating for all to see. But alas, therein lies my lifelong problem - slackdom. Nonetheless, here I am and so much has happened in the last month, dear diary. But rather than ramble on I'll try and design a matching game where you can try and match the description of my fabulous summer so far with the picture - ho boy! If you get all seven answers correct, I will send you a prize of a sexy message to your inbox. How's that for motivation?

1. The world's #10 restaurant, Alinea where my friend David and I dined on gourmet food, including a dessert served on a pillow filled with lavender air.

2. Legoland Discovery Center

3. Forevertron

4. The Cronans come to La Grange!

5. Mom's 70th birthday!

6. Little Amerricka

7. I got a new toy!

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b.
c.
d.
e.

f.

g.

Pet Parade and Birthday Fun

2009-06-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hello people. I am a little older than the last time I posted, but not exactly wiser. This time of year is always filled with celebrations - my birthday, followed by Kaveh's, then my mom's, my sister's and lastly Nina's. And now that we live in a small town, it is also coming to be known as Pet Parade time. The pet parade goes right down the center of La Grange, which could also be called "Main Street USA". It's got restaurants, cute little boutiques (of which some are sadly going out of business), some bars, a library, a fountain and a movie theater. I have to say I love my little town, especially during this time of year. So imagine how quaint it is during the pet parade - lots of low-budget floats, groups of kids doing flips and cheers, many marching bands and the most impressive - men in fez hats:

This guy was part of a group of men in fez hats who fashioned a motorized vehicle out of a beer cooler and a scooter. Pretty creative, huh? The best part of the parade is, of course, the tons of candy being tossed out to the kids. Here are N & N clutching their free gum:

They were pretty tired in this picture, so I decided to bump up the sugar intake:

That's better, aah. The parade is followed by a cheesy carnival with dangerous-looking rickety rides (which fortunately my kids are still too little and wimpy to want to ride) and speed freaks trying to get you to play their boardwalk games over and over again. A good time to be had by all! I ended up dropping a wad of cash to win the kids horrible stuffed animals that they fell in love with for about five minutes.

My birthday was a mixed bag. I had to go to work - bad. I got an iPhone - great! I had to go to a retirement party for someone at work after school - eh. I came home to a flooded kitchen floor because the dishwasher broke - bad. Then Kaveh broke a glass milk bottle on the floor - bad. Then he jammed something in the garbage disposal and I thought for sure he was going to lose it - very bad. But we all survived the night and followed it by a barbecue and bonfire in our backyard - good!

Tonight is Kaveh's birthday and Nina has a fever. She's pretty chipper though and we all enjoyed eating a Carvel ice cream cake. No Cookie Puss but pretty close. And then tomorrow is my last day of school for the summer!! Happy days are here again!

Master Swimmer

2009-05-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

I am forcing myself to write since I shamefully see that the last post was 20 days ago. The school year is winding down like water being sucked down the drain. Everything is happening at once - I'm trying to wrap up my school year, the kids', get the garden done, get the house remodeled. Oy. Some good things have been happening though. We did get our kitchen slightly remodeled. I'll post pictures when it's completely done but our guy that's doing the work, Jesus, is a bit of a flake. We're, well Jesus is to be exact, redoing the tile in the bathroom too but only Jesus knows when that will get done. Such problems, I know. I sound spoiled but these are things we needed to do when we first moved in and are just getting around to a few three years later. Welcome to home ownership.

The big excitement in my life is that I joined the swim team! I was always a pool rat growing up. While other kids were at camp, I was at our neighborhood pool going to swim practices, swim meets and generally just bumming around the pool. I was pretty fast before puberty hit and then my desire to hang out with friends became greater than my desire to train twice a day to try and eventually go to the Olympics. Not that I was ever that good, but shit, maybe I coulda gone for the gold if I wasn't such a normal kid. But now is my chance! I joined a master's swim team and may actually do a meet. Some day. I started swimming again about a month ago as a last resort. You see I have plantar fasciitis and was basically told to avoid any impact on my feet. Gee, that's real easy to do when you work and have small children to run after. So since I couldn't get on my treadmill I decided to utilize the almost always empty pool at the gym. At first I was kind-of dreading it. But once I got in with some decent goggles and racing suit I felt great! The obese 70 year-old men complimented me on my speed and endurance and I felt like Michael Phelps I tell ya.

A few weeks later I joined this team, thinking I'd be hot shit. NOT. I'm in the second slowest lane but hey, that's okay. Trying to catch up to people 10 years older than you is actually a great way to burn calories! I just hope I don't hyperventilate along the way.
Swimmingly yours,
Cassie

Rushed

2009-05-07T19:15:00.000-07:00

I guess it's my way to combat my major predisposition towards depression, but I've always kept myself way busier than I need to be. My mom always tells me, "You run around too much" and it's finally dawning on me that it's true. I believe I need to be busy to be happy. But is that so wrong? It used to be I'd busy myself with unhealthy things like partying and bad relationships with men. Now I'm busy schlepping the kids to their activities, going to one of my four Green committee meetings, working, going to physical therapy (plantar fasciitis = pain in the foot and in the ass), swimming (because it's the only exercise I can currently do without causing excruciating pain), and yes, some socializing, mostly with the ladies in my neighborhood who have kids. Especially now that it's nice out and we're not trapped indoors, every free moment is a big adventure.

So I guess that was my long winded explanation/lame excuse of not writing lately. Plus - is that really interesting? Not really. I'm hoping to be a bit more inspiring in 4 weeks (!) when it's summer break. Yes, that's right. School's almost out for summer and although we're having about 100 house guests and I've agreed to take on a couple of private clients, and oh yeah, do a summer project for my school district, I should have lots of free time. When I'm not working on my hit children's album or my novel, that is.

See ya! Gotta go watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the real reason why I'm not blogging so much anymore!

The Worst Pet Ever

2009-04-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Who the hell ever said fish were good pets? My dad, an avid fish lover, was visiting a few weeks ago and decided it would be a generous gift to give the kids a fish tank and some guppies. Since my hubbie is a former pet store employee (although that was over 15 years ago), I agreed thinking he would know how to care for the small and personality-less creatures. We got the tank all set up and put our four new family members in the living room.

Things were looking good at first. Before my dad even left to return home, the guppies had 8 little teeny-tiny cutie babies. They were so cute with big bulging eyes. Like this:

Aww! We were all optimistic about our future fish-filled lives. But then things started to decline. After a night away, less than 24 hours mind you, we return to a tank with no babies. Where did they go? Nina asks. Uh, maybe they're hiding in the plants. No, the fuckers ate the babies. How do I explain this to my small children? Strangely enough, they don't ask again.

A few days later, the grim reaper strikes again. One fish, "Sarah" croaks. Nina takes this especially hard, crying inconsolably. A few days later, another, then another, floating upside down in the small tank. Nina shrieks in horror. Niko cries too, but only because his TV show was turned off at the same time the death was discovered. I'm not crying because of the fish; I wanted to finish my show!! So much for the sensitive male.

Now only one fish remains and I truly believe Nina is going to need therapy. The other night at four in the morning, she was down by the fish tank shouting I can't see Mac! I don't see Mac! I race downstairs to make sure the child isn't sleep-walking. She is not, she's just having a panic attack over dead fish. I couldn't sleep. I was just lying awake worrying about the fish. Sigh. So far we still have this last remaining fish and every morning (and all day long actually) Nina runs to the tank to inspect for floating fish carcass. I almost wish it would die so we could move on with our lives. I know it sounds mean, but do you actually expect me to care about a creature who would eat their own babies??

Torturing Kids with Overstimulation

2009-04-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Last week I took my day off for Good Friday as an opportunity to get some shopping done with the kids. We drove an hour up north to meet a friend at the famous Gurnee Mills mall (about which the Handsome Family wrote a song if I recall correctly). We had four kids ages 5,4 and 3 and needless to say, it was pretty hard to get much shopping done. Many impulse purchases were made, but I think I got enough to get their little butts covered for now.

One of the highlights about our semi-annual trip to Gurnee Mills is a stop for lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. You must know of this place, even if you have not yet ventured there. The experience is just like being in a real rain forest - it's dark, it's raining, there are many wild animals and even a huge waterfall. Every 10 minutes or so, a loud thunder storm erupts and all of the animatronic animals start going berserk. Sounds really cool, right? Well, maybe if you're not under the age of 6. As soon as the thunder storm starts, the entire restaurant is full of screaming babies, toddlers and preschoolers. They all cower in their mothers' bosoms, waiting for the nightmare to be over. Some recover when the storm ends and are actually able to finish their lunch of various pieces of fried meat and/or potatoes, but some, sadly, never get over this horrifying experience. My friend's daughter, the youngest of the bunch and featured in the photo above, was hit hardest by the most unrelaxing lunch in history. Poor kid is still probably having nightmares about the place.

So even though I think the place is great for it's kitsch value, light-up drinks and exotic cocktails (of which I've never had), think twice before you waste your money on a meal full of screams and tears.

When Mommy's Away

2009-04-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, as you may recall, I did my annual "mommy on the town" spring break trip. This year it was back to SF, the land I used to call home for 12 years until I left in June 2006. This was definitely one of those trips that made me stop and think, "Why the fuck did I leave here again?" Not only is it one of the most beautiful cities in the world, one of the most progressive cities in the world, one of the most hilliest cities in the world which makes you feel like you're on top of the world, but it is the place where I feel truly loved. From the moment I stepped off the plane, my cell phone is ringing with people who want to see me and spend time with me. Not that I don't have friends where I live now, am am grateful to say that I have made a few close friends and love them dearly, but in SF I have a social circle. It really feels like an extended family. We've seen each other go through our phases and changes during our 20s, seen each other fall in love, fall out of love, settle down, have children, laugh together and mourn together.

So, needless to say, it was a very social weekend. While it was only 3 days, I jammed in as much action as I could possibly stand. I saw many people and their many children, but of course not everyone and definitely not for long enough. I guess it was just enough for me to return home knowing that the loved ones in San Francisco aren't really that far away at all.

Mommy Time

2009-04-01T20:06:00.000-07:00

Once a year, this working mom is allowed to take a weekend to go on a "mommy trip". Well, my sisters and brothers, that weekend has arrived. I'll be taking off tomorrow afternoon for a three-night excursion to San Francisco. This will be the longest I've ever been away from the kids before. Sure, I feel a little guilty, but I know they're in good hands with their Baba.

It's really me I'm worried about - I have social engagements planned from pretty much the minute I land to the moment I get back on the plane on Sunday. Then I return to work the very next day. Will this former rock 'n roll momma have the staying power to dine, wine and converse just like in the old days? Well, we'll just have to see but I plan to give it my best shot!

Bon voyage!

Accident Prone

2009-03-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

I fell down the steps outside of the Shedd Aquarium this weekend. Wanna know the real reason? There was a little boy crying and then I noticed he was with a youngish guy and he was saying use your words and then the little boy started to use sign language to communicate and then I was thinking I wonder if he's non-verbal and whoah!!! That step came out of no where! Down I tumbled in front of hundreds of people, including my kids, husband and dad. Yes, I'm pretty much fine, just a little sore and sorely embarrassed.

Being clumsy is nothing new. I still have memories of being in Bermuda at age 5 ?(help me here, mom), looking around and bam! I walked into a pole. Oh, and there was that other time in 6th grade where I'm on a bike ride with friends. I'm gazing at the beautiful suburban landscape and man! Where did that parked car come from?? Why is this funny? People always laugh when others injure themselves in a somewhat stupid way, but I take this personally. It's not my fault I was born with the spacing out gene!

Don't worry, I'm a very good driver and have only gotten in a few minor collisions. My kids have never been to the hospital on my watch, although I have been twice since Nina was born, both for accidents that could have been avoided had I been paying attention or being more careful. Let's just hope the aquarium incident was the last and my luck will change. Sadly though, Nina is showing signs of the same disorder and has almost been run down by shopping carts several time. Maybe we do need to start believing in Jesus.

Silence is Golden

2009-03-23T18:16:00.001-07:00

If this isn't cute and evil, I'll eat this blog

Tunes from the past

2009-03-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

My former bandmate and longtime friend, Ilhan, recently started putting up old photos and music from my former band, Yusakuta. I was the lead singer from 1995-1999 (?). I'm a little fuzzy on the dates but it was a wonderful time of my life and listening to the music, however strange you may find it, takes me back to a warm and fuzzy place.

Here's one of my favorites: You Don't Do Me. Try and listen hard to the incredibly deep and emotional lyrics.

Well That Was That

2009-03-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

A dreary Saturday afternoon. Rain and thunder outside the window, Niko asleep in his bed, Nina and I cuddled together in my bed- she watching Power Rangers, me on the computer. Kaveh managed to get a day off to go see The Watchmen - all 3 hours of it. I see this as an opportune time to take a hot bath and read my trash gossip magazine.

I'm in the tub, it not even full yet, and in walks Niko, with bright red cheeks and hair sticking up. "Turn the water off, Mom", he says. "I want you to get out of there". "No Niko, Mommy needs a bath", I explain. "Well I need to go potty", he blurts out. He climbs on the pot, a mere 2 feet away from the bathtub and a few minutes later my fresh-scented bath starts smelling a little stinky. Great, he pooped. I have to get out of the tub to wipe him. Then I need the spray. I settle back into the tub, then in walks Nina. "I want to get in", she announces. "It's really hot," I explain, "like a hot tub". "Ooh, I love hot tubs!" and a few seconds later her little naked body is climbing in the bath. Niko shortly follows her lead, then starts crying that it's too hot. That's it, I'm out. The kids stay in, I turn on some "cold trickles" and they entertain themselves in my bath for a while.

But I'm not really mad - I know the day will one day come when my kids don't want to watch me take a bath or cuddle in bed with me or have me wipes their butts. Well, the latter I could definitely do without, but the point is that I should savor these times. At least that's what everyone with grown children tells me.

Amos tritt zurück!

2009-02-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

You may recall this post about Kaveh's cousin Amos, the Imperator of Pop. Well, sad news people. This was just released by Amos' press agent:

A newsflash is shocking all of us:

Today - February the 23rd 2009 -

Amos has announced his resignation from music business.

With his brandnew and obviously last title "The Last Song"

he'd like to say goodbye to all his followers.

Watch the video here:

http://www.amos-music.com/lastsong

There has been no further statement concerning his motives.

All concerts have been canceled.

Your Amos team.

Okay, is this for real? Is he going to off himself? Is he trying to be clever and Ween-like?
I myself need to contemplate this one for a while. I'm so depressed.

It's Not You, It's Me

2009-02-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

My dear blog, I know I have been neglecting you lately. Please, baby, look at me. It's not that I don't love you anymore, you know I do. You're always there for me, waiting, faithfully. It's just that lately, going to Facebook and giving a quick status update is so easy and efficient. It's addictive too - that immediate release of information. With you, my darling, it's like a slow dance where I have to take time to think of witty and detailed anecdotes from my not very exciting life. Don't get me wrong; once I do come up with a creative blog post, write it up and click on "Publish Now", I get the most incredible feeling of release and pleasure. But baby, sometimes I just need that quick fix. I want to write just a short sentence, maybe even a phrase, and get it out there into the world. Don't judge me for that.

I know you'll always be here, waiting for me. And please know you're in the back of my mind always; that nagging voice saying, "You really need to post to your blog. You haven't posted anything in over a week". It's not that you're a nag, please don't take offense. You force me to be a better writer -please know I am eternally grateful to you for that. But baby, I feel that we need to open up our relationship to other social media. I met this really hot spot named Twitter - would you mind if I went on a few posts there? It wouldn't mean anything, I swear. Just a meaningless one-second status update, and then I'll come right back to ya.

Thanks doll, you really are something.

25 Fascinating Things About Moi

2009-02-15T14:13:00.000-08:00

Since I'm drawing a total blank thinking about a blog topic this week, I guess I'll just recycle this note from my Facebook page. Hey, I wrote it, right. And maybe next post will focus on explaining #25.

1) I’m writing this in Word since last time I tried to write this on FB I got to #17 then my list somehow vanished.
2) I love my kids more than I could ever have imagined.
3) I still am happily married after 7 ½ years. I’m hoping this means we’re in the clear.
4) I always try my hardest to be an optimist, to see the good in people and to remain positive. Just don’t get on my bad side.
5) I was the lead singer in several punk rock bands from 1990-2005.
6) I sang at a gay leather bar when I was 8 months pregnant with my second child.
7) I still want to be a rock ‘n roll mom, but it’s beginning to get embarrassing.
8) I also have fantasies of starting a kid’s band. Writing songs for kids, that is.
9) I work as a speech-language pathologist in the schools. That’s the fancy word for speech therapist. I have to say that after 11 years, I still enjoy the work I do and always have new challenges that make it interesting. Of course summers off don’t hurt either.
10) I write a horoscope column for a teen manga magazine.
11) My favorite form of exercise is jogging on my treadmill in the basement as I watch Dexter, The L-Word or some other addictive show.
12) I refuse to pay for cable TV after having it for free for over 8 years (Netflix is my lifeline to the outside world).
13) The hardest job I ever had was in a residential home for autistic children. And I only got paid $7 an hour. It was then that I realized the benefits of advanced degrees.
14) I am considering going back for my doctorate.
15) I am considering training for a half marathon.
16) I often speak out about grand plans and then don’t follow through. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.
17) I have studied Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, the Kabbalah and even know a bit about Zoastrism. I still haven’t found something that I can commit to.
18) I am somewhat embarrassed by being a suburban mom.
19) I am a big fan of underground comics. It all started with Matt Feazell’s Stupid Boy. I used to send him love letters in high school.
20) I studied English with a concentration in film theory in college. I had ambitions of going to film school and making vampire films. Who didn’t?
21) I lived in San Francisco for 12 years and left about 2 ½ years ago. Not a week goes by when I don’t miss it.
22) I miss my best friend the most.
23) I’m starting to get teary-eyed. Shit.
24) I have been to Burning Man four times. The first was in 1994 when it was small enough you could soak in the hot springs all day and the music was acoustic.
25) When I was 16 my dad took me to see my aunt’s performance piece. She was naked, covered in blue paint.

Community Service

2009-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

Here's my little Florence Nightingale - isn't she sweet? I will now annoy you with a bragging tale of how wonderful my child is, so if you are not interested (but why on earth wouldn't you be?!), please feel free to go read Perez Hilton or The Angry Arab.

Nina is a member of the Daisy Girl Scouts and naturally I wanted to be involved, so I volunteered as the service project coordinator. I hemmed and hawed about the project - should we feed the homeless, dress the orphans, plant seeds for Mother Earth? Well, not sure of how this girl scouts thing really works, I decided to do an easy valentine's project. Our troop would make and send valentines to a nursing home. They were quite cute, actually. First we made hot pink door hangers and then the girls decorated the valentines that went inside. I was told to drop off the valentines at the girl scouts' office and then they would be taken to a local nursing home. Later, like about a week ago, I found out that actually our troop should pick a place in the community to deliver them. I recalled a place very close to our house that looked a little runned down and therefore could use some cute little girl scouts to liven the place up. I notified all the moms that this Sunday would be the day to do our part and deliver the valentines to the sick and the elderly.

Well, only one other little girl showed up. Not that I blame anyone for not coming - it was short notice and a Sunday afternoon to boot. The two girls were taken to the first floor of the nursing home (I was told that these residents were a little more "with it" than the ones on the 3rd floor) and went door to door giving out their special creations. Although it looked like a hospital and smelled like one too, Nina didn't seem to notice or care. She boldly went into each resident's room and greeted them with a "Happy Valentine's Day". Nina's not the most outgoing kid, but yesterday she must have been having a moment because she was friendly and talkative to all the residents. She didn't even get scared when some people were drooling, or sleeping with their giant bellies hanging out, or had tubes up their noses. I for one was getting pretty depressed and thinking, "Please don't make me live in a place like this when I'm old", but when we were all done, Nina exclaimed, "That was fun!". The other little girl didn't seem quite as enthused but it was a great experience nonetheless.

So although we do not belong to any organized religious group, even my mom would have to agree that we had a very Christian day. Maybe it even took off a few black marks on my own record??

Bringing Work Home

2009-02-02T19:12:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the miracle of antibiotics I was back at work today. My throat is still slightly sore, but that didn't stop me from yakking it up most of the day.

Sometimes, actually quite often, I feel guilty about my job. All day long I work with 3-5 year olds. My own children are 3 and 5. All day long I sing songs, read books, play games, teach early literacy skills, do language enrichment and basically entertain 3-5 year olds. Other peoples' 3, 4 and 5 year-olds. When I get home, I'm usually so spent or I have to go grocery shopping or cook or clean that my time with my own children is not even half of what I give "the others".

But there are days when my guilt gets the best of me, or simply because I'm doing something in therapy that I know my children will enjoy, and I bring a therapy activity home. Like today I brought home Jan Brett's The Mitten, along with a card stock mitten and animal cut outs I had made off the author's website (do you know she has over 4,000 printable activities on there?!). We read the story, sequenced the animals going into the mitten and acted out the events. I even followed up with "wh" questions.

Is this a sign that I'm working too much?

This is My Mouth for Three Months in a Row

2009-02-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I'm getting nauseous just looking at it. But that's pretty much how my throat looked on Friday, and last month and the month before that.

It may be time to get the tonsils removed, but I'll wait and see. All I know is that I can't really keep getting sick all the time like this, although I must say it felt good to stay in bed much of the weekend.

Speaking of bed, must get back to my nest so I can rest up for work tomorrow. Hopefully all the nasty bacteria will be gone before morn.

Feeling Slightly F-ed

2009-01-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, it doesn't help that I got my period this morning (sorry all you male readers) or that it's been frigidly cold for months or that work is incredibly busy and stressful right now and will continue to be that way until the end of May or that I feel guilty about being a working mom or, okay, never mind, I'll just stop kevtching right now. Sunday nights are generally difficult for me since I can remember.

But even though I'm feeling bummed out right now, it was a good weekend. Friday night I got to go into the city and have a grown-up dinner with my realtor turned friend. And the nice thing about having a realtor who is a "friend" is that she usually ends up paying and reminds me "if you ever hear of anyone who's looking for a house... ". Well, sure! So if any of you are looking for a house in Chicago, Ramona is your gal! Afterwards we went to a lounge, listened to hip-hop music, marveled at the unique fashion sense of male Chicago hipsters and were even hit on by some single men (it must have been pretty dark in there!).

Saturday night, Kaveh and Nina went to the Suzy Snowflake dance. This is an annual ball put on by the local Girl Scouts. Sadly I didn't get any photos of Daddy, but here's some from the gala event.

Here's Nina and her friend Maya getting ready for the big event:

Some bald daddies at the ball:

I guess Nina danced with her friends more than her dad. Typical.

Other weekend highlights included a mommy-son play date last night and dim sum today to celebrate Chinese New Year. We're not Chinese, but after living in SF for 12 years, I definitely appreciate the culture, and the food!

But now I must get back to feeling sorry for myself. My bloated, stressed, chapped-lipped, tired, Sunday night blah-ed self. Oh, the suffering.

In Hibernation

2009-01-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what's been wrong with me this last week. I just can't think of anything thrilling to write about. We're definitely in the deep trenches of winter and for people who work in the school system, this is the time of year when the shit hits the fan. Intense work followed by intense meetings after school. Couple that with raising two kids and dealing with blizzards every other day - well, there you have my life these days. But, in the optimistic spirit of Cute and Evil, here are some recent highlights of my life lately:
* I am an aunt (again)! Kaveh's brother and wife just had a baby! My little nephew Samuel was a whopping 9.4 pounds. But the sad news is that they live in the OC so I won't be able to see him in all his cute newborness.
* Kaveh and I actually got to go out on a date. Our fake cousin, Cassidy, babysat and we went to see Milk. Okay, not the most romantic movie for a date but inspiring nonetheless. Can you believe Dan White only got 5 years prison time for a double murder of two public officials?
* I've been cooking more Persian food. Since we're stuck at home a lot and my kids absolutely love the food their grandparents make them, I've been upping my cooking skills and the dishes, while extremely time consuming, are turning out to be pretty decent. I'm still working on perfecting my tadiq.
* I made Niko a headboard. Well, Kaveh helped me but this is the second headboard I've made and it's a fun, fairly easy project. Plus it saves you a hecka lot of money. I'll post pictures later.

That's all I can think of that could possibly interest you. Oh wait, I forgot the best news - I'm getting an intern tomorrow!! Free exploitative labor, here I come! No, just kidding Brittany. But having a helper twice a week is hopefully going to add a few years to my life and maybe help me sleep a little better until April.

And speaking of sleep, must go get some cuz I got me one hella of a busy week! And what a great week it will be - goodbye scary Mr. Bush! The nightmare may not be over, but at least Freddy Kruger has left the building.

Shattered Dream

2009-01-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

My mom recently told me about HGTV's Dream Home giveaway. It's a beautiful house in Sonoma and you can enter once a day until the contest is over. I immediately went to the website and started entering myself and Kaveh each day for the last week. My mind spun out of control planning how we would move, when I would quit my job, how it would be so great to be near my CA friends and family again and how we would throw big parties in our huge, beautiful house and we would grow our own grapes and fresh veggies and I wonder how the schools are there and on and on my mind raced. This is typically how I think - I'm always 10 steps ahead of the present. So anyway, then I started to wonder about the hidden costs of this so-called "giveaway". I went to look at the fine print of the contest and it says you receive a 1099 for the over $2 million dollar value of the prizes. That's right, you have to pay income taxes on it. Then I did some more digging and found out that only one out of 10 families who have won the dream home have actually lived in it, and the one family who did move in went bankrupt from trying to pay the $500k mortgage and just the general cost of maintaining the giant house. You can read the sad tale here.

So now my bubble has been burst and it's back to life in my little, but cute, house. I think I'll still keep entering, though. I'll just start a new fantasy of how we'll move in, start our own wine label, write a hit song that the royalties will pay the taxes... .

Love Song

2009-01-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

Here's a tender and romantic song to get you ready for Valentine's Day:

How Juice Can Save the World

2009-01-07T21:23:00.000-08:00

To ride on the coattails of my brilliant sister Maggie, I too have a green tip for the new year. My sister is a big practitioner of the FIO (that would be fuck it off) lifestyle. Did she invent this concept? Not sure, but maybe. The FIO philosophy involves the notion that doing things with the least amount of effort yields great results. Here here! And more recently she related how doing things in an eco-friendly manner also are in line with the FIO way. You know, like not using wrapping paper for gifts, not bathing as often or not flying to visit family over the holidays.

I'd like to add that being eco-friendly can also coexist with being cheap. Sure, organic products, hybrid cars, solar panels, etc. are all pretty pricey ways to go green, but there are ways to turn your naturally cheap self into a trendy green earth-friendly person. Take, for instance my recent discovery - frozen juice from concentrate. I'm in love with the stuff! Not only is there far less packaging and you can buy it in plastic-free containers, but it is ass cheap! While one bottle of apple juice may put you out $4.00, you could be buying 2 cans of frozen from concentrate for the same price. Buy a cute vintage glass bottle at a thrift store and voila! Refreshing beverage you can feel good about.

Of course others might say that kids shouldn't be drinking juice at all but that's another post. Cheers!

Back to Reality and A Family Plug

2009-01-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

Well, happy new year to all! I've had a jam-packed vacation with lots of celebrating and a 9-day visit with our favorite cousins from the Bay Area. It was so wonderful to spend time with Sahra who is 19 and blossoming into quite a beautiful woman. I'll post some pictures this week but right now I've got to buckle down and get a writing assignment done.

In the meantime, you can feast your ears on this fierce dance tune composed by my very own father, Howard Bassen, and includes vocals by yours truly. I started writing this song a while back, sent my dad some vocals but never really finished it. My dear old dad took what I gave him and came up with this club remix. Way to go, Pop. And since Tuesday will be his birthday, I'll give you the link to his website where you can hear many other of his musical creations. Happy Birthday, Dad!! Not bad for a 65 year-old!

Domestic Goddess?

2008-12-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I think so. This Christmas I think I actually pulled things off in typical Americana fashion. The presents were wrapped ahead of time, the dessert was prepared the day before, the meat was pre-ordered from the small family-owned local grocer. So now my friends I can sip my Baileys and milk and say, "Ahhh". Here are some pictures of our idyllic Christmas day. (Note: pictures of Niko having a tantrum throughout most of the dinner have been omitted).

The excitement of opening the presents at the crack of dawn.

Grandma and Papa there to further spoil the children.

Is that Rachel Ray? Oh wait, it's me! Making the not so vegetarian au jus.

Oh yes, and just a simple dessert - triple layer chocolate coconut cake with homeade cream frosting.

But really, not everything was perfect. I did forget to fill the stockings. Oops! And although I did try to keep things eco-friendly and green, there were quite a few new plastic toys with lots of packaging in our house this morning. And while usually I try to stick to a mostly vegetarian diet, as you can see, our meal focused around this:

But hey, with a picky father-in-law sometimes you gotta just go with the meat. After all that cookin' and entertaining, I'm wiped. Now it's back to pastas and take out for the rest of the year! Hope your day was swell!!

Another Elf Video!

2008-12-25T09:42:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Easy Blog Post!

2008-12-22T18:06:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

This Holiday Season, Please Say No to the Christmas Sweater

2008-12-16T12:27:00.000-08:00

Now I hope I'm not offending you, dear reader. If you happen to be wearing a busy, cheery, sparkly holiday sweater right now, maybe you should stop reading this.

Now, I didn't go to school to be a teacher, I went to become a speech-language pathologist. Maybe this is why I missed the course on Elementary School Teacher Fashion? Was the message somehow passed on to teachers that they must wear the ugliest, brightest and gaudiest sweaters and accessories for every holiday? Is there research out there that says students will learn better if their teacher's attire is crazy bright and busy? It was bad enough for Halloween that almost every teacher (well, usually the ones over 40) walked around for weeks before in orange and black. But now I have seen bad taste gone overboard. Giant snowmen, snowflakes, Christmas trees adorn many a teacher's upper body. One of my superiors was wearing a blood-red sweater with matching tie with Santas on it. How can I take him seriously? Another prominent staff member has on a sweater vest with get this, leopard snowmen? And as I sit in on meetings with these colleagues, I actually start to feel guilty that I am in my typical black top and olive green pants. Should I go home and throw up Christmas on some of my clothes?

I just can't do it!

Isn't My Husband Talented?

2008-12-12T07:48:00.001-08:00

Here's the link to Kaveh's latest holiday card he designed and animated for his company. I just had to show it off!

Now Why Didn't I Know About This?

2008-12-10T12:25:00.001-08:00

Hello Kitty maternity ward!!

Tag, I'm It

2008-12-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

Boy, I've never been tagged, or memed, before but my oh so kind sister did this a few weeks back and I've ignored it for too long. Basically I'm supposed to say 5 Fun Facts about myself and then I need to meme 5 funny friends. This is like one of those annoying chain letters but I guess I'll play along. Here's some fun facts:

1) I was the lead singer in several punk/pop/rock bands. Yes, from approximately 1990-2005 I was the lead singer in many bands with my friend Jamie. First it was Token White Boy in Newark, Delaware. Then a few years later I ended up in San Francisco and Jamie and I hooked up with Kim, Ilhan and Tedd (may he rest in peace) to form Yusakuta. We rocked around the Bay for about 5 years, then broke up and the ladies of the band became Hazy with Jamie's brother and party animal Chris.

2) My Poop on the Potty Song on YouTube has almost 10,00o hits! Even more if you click on it now!

3) I am currently the horoscope writer for Shojo Beat magazine. In my column I get to recommend cute products to shop for and cool music to listen to. My audience is ages 15 to 25 - perfect for my immature writing style!

4) I have been a university instructor a few times. I supervised speech-language pathology graduate students doing their on-site practicums. It sounds more prestigious than it actually was.

5) I suffer from overideaization. I think I made that term up but it can be defined as a problem of having way too many ideas for creative projects but never actually doing most of them. Recent ideas have included writing a musical, writing a teen novel, writing an erotica novel, going back to school for my PhD, starting a new band, starting my own t-shirt company, moving abroad - the list goes on. Anyone who knows of help for this psychosis please write in.

Okay - my turn! The following people are it!

1) Jamie of Where Should We Live? Jamie is my BFF and even though she thinks we're growing apart, she'll never be rid of me. Mwahhaha!

2) Kim of My Unheard Music. Kim is a close friend and former band mate.

3) Debbie of Team Lenert. Wow - imagine that, another former band mate, dating back to 1990. See? Making music together bonds you for life.

4) Kerri of Mom Vs. So Not the Mom. Kerri is my newest friend in the Midwest, and fortunately for me, she lives right next store! Now is that fate or what?

5) Marilyn of Xander Loves Keyser Soze. Marilyn is my cousin by marriage and she's the coolest. She's also the proud new momma of her second child, baby Milla.

Get busy, ladies!

The Advantages of Freezing Your Ass Off

2008-12-03T14:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, you Californians have your sun and your beaches and your pools and your 365 days a year park outings, but after being in the Midwest for a little over two and half years, I've decided that instead of bitching about the weather, I will try and focus on the positives of living like a hermit for the next four (or more?) months. Here are some of the benefits of living in a winter wonderland:
1) Christmas actually feels like Christmas. We don't have to dream about a White Christmas - we have it. And a White Day Before Christmas, a White Day After Christmas, a White New Year, ... .
2) Winter clothes are great for hiding your "areas". Tummy getting a little poofy after Thanksgiving feasts all week? No matter - just throw on that oversized sweater and puffy coat and no one will be able to tell what the hell you've got going on under there.
3) You suddenly have way more room in your freezer. That's because the world is your freezer! Bought too many tubs of Bryers' Mint Chip ice cream? No prob - just stick the boxes outside or in your garage. Running to the grocery store and then need to make a few more stops? Don't worry about the milk spoiling in the car - leave it in there overnight!
4) No need to worry about tending to your yard. When your garden is completely dead and lifeless and your lawn is covered in 10 inches of snow, you will most likely not need to water or mow. More time for TV watching!
5) Shoveling is a great workout! Go ahead and cancel that gym membership for the season - the best workout is waiting right outside your door! Just grab a shovel, snowsuit, gloves, hat and scarf, set your alarm for 5:30 am and get that blood pumping!
6) Winter food is just so damn cozy. What makes the house smell better than a big pot of chili in the stove? Or a big hotpot full of goulash? Or what ab0ut hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows? Enjoy all of these things as you try to regain feeling in your hands and face. And please refer to #2 to remind you not to hold back on your portions.
7) Getting some good loving. Stuck inside for weeks on end? What better way to pass the time than making some sweet love with your partner, or a stranger? After that ten minutes are up, watch some more TV, then repeat the sexy time during a commercial.
8) And best of all - winter is the perfect time for blogging! It is only from being stuck inside that I can come up with wonderful and thought-provoking topics such as this one! Aren't you lucky to reap the benefits of such solitude??

Tanksgiving

2008-11-30T20:22:00.000-08:00

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and I am sure thankful for all you millions of readers. Okay, I'm even thankful for the handful of readers I have. It is because of you that I am blogging instead of mindlessly laying in bed watching The L-Word, my new favorite show.

My Thanksgiving was spent with 50-60 Persians at my in-laws house (my title of this post is supposed to denote this since most native Farsi speakers substitute the /t/ for the "th"). It was fabulous. Usually I don't have too many people to talk to during these events because everyone is speaking in a foreign language, but this time many of my in-laws friends brought their children who were kind enough to speak in English to me. Some of these children are pretty close to my age and I've become friends with a few, so it was great fun to have some girl talk amongst beautiful and smart ladies like these:
Are they hot or what? Also, my friend Cassidy came up from Chicago and it was so nice to have an old friend there for the celebration.

But once again, the holiday was also bitter sweet, for I missed my own family in Maryland and my friend-family in San Francisco. Isn't there a way to be three places at one time?? I also missed my 20 year high school reunion, but at least I have Facebook to see the photos.

Okay, back to lesbian drama for me.

Breaking News - New Miyazaki Mermaid film!

2008-11-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

Ponyo at the Cliff, Miyazaki's latest and possibly last film has been released in Japan and will soon be coming to our own US of A! I couldn't be more thrilled since I love Miyazaki and am obsessed with mermaids.

If you're not familiar with his films, check out My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Deliery Sevice, Spirited Away or the myriad of his other animated films. They can be a little dark at times, but visually gorgeous and complex story lines.

Hurray!

Convention

2008-11-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

This week/weekend I attended the annual American Speech-Language Hearing Association (ASHA) convention in Chicago. I usually don't attend said conference, but since it was in Chicago, my work agreed to pay for it, my sister works for the association and was coming to the convention and another friend from SF was coming, I said hell yes! I got to spend 2 nights at a hotel downtown with my sister, drink fancy cocktails in the hotel bar and spend time with old friends.

But then there was the convention. A colleague likened it to Disneyland for speech-language pathologists. There was something to do every second. There was a huge exhibit hall with lots of free crap like pens, tote bags and even stuffed elephants and bees! The shopping was a dream - I restocked my flavored tongue depressors and bought some speech games and cards - oh my! But as for the actual learning part of the convention - eh. Every session was jam packed full of SLPs. I didn't get an actual chair to sit on until Saturday morning. The most interesting topics like working with preschoolers with language disorders were full 20 minutes before they started. I guess I walked away with a few new tidbits of knowledge but in general I was not too inspired. But maybe I'm being too picky - it was great to be at a convention and read about all the cutting edge research that's happening in my field. One day I'd love to go get my PhD. You know, with all that free time I have.

Until then, I think I'll just go sniff my tongue depressors and play with my bee.

Healing

2008-11-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

After the third weekend in a row of being cooped up with the kids, everyone illin' and whinin', I am pleased to say everyone is feeling a little bit better. After my eye infection, I ended up getting the stomach flu! My system was completely knocked out. Thankfully, my saint of a mother-in-law came to our rescue, took 2 days off of work and drove down from Wisconsin to take care of us. She cooked delicious Persian food, went shopping and entertained the kids. It felt so nice to have someone else be the caregiver for 48 hours. Thank you Janet, if you happen to read this.

I went back to work today and although I had to run to the bathroom a few times (I'll spare you the details), I made it through the day and think I may even get back there tomorrow.

I feel guilty about complaining about my little infections and viruses when I am aware that so many people suffer from much more devastating illnesses that I had. I just found out a friend has ovarian cancer and has to deal with rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, all the while trying to be a mom. My little tummy aches and fevers didn't seem like anything to bitch about after I heard that news.

Sending love out to you Anabelle - I wish we were closer so I could give you a big hug and cook you some food.

Aren't I BeYouTiFul?

2008-11-11T19:53:00.001-08:00

It went something like this (bonus points if you know what children's book I'm borrowing from): I went to sleep with strep in my throat and now there's strep in my eye.

This is how I looked this morning, after spending much of the night awake with 2 children vomiting and shitting the bed. And I think Kaveh dry-heaved a few times since he was just starting to get strep throat. Let's just say when I saw my face I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Not only was I sick again, but so were my kids and husband and I've missed so much work in the last couple of weeks. This is when being a working mom truly sucks - you can never just be home with your kids when they are sick and need you most without a lot of complications and worst, guilt. I feel guilty for not going to work since my students don't get a substitute and I have limited time for make-ups. If I go to work I feel so bad for leaving my sick babies. I'm telling ya, these are the rough years. Will it get easier?

Anyway, I have cellulitis of the eye, aka orbital cellulitis. I'm on more antibiotics that I have to take every 6 hours and oh, if my eye all of the sudden stops moving I need to go immediately to the ER because the infection might be eating into my brain. I'm going to sleep so well tonight.

Hopefully I'll be seeing you again!!

Happy Halloween! Wait It's Over.

2008-11-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Geez, where the heck have I been? Halloween '08 is ooold news. It came, it went, then there was sickness. These pictures are actually from the "fake" Halloween the Saturday before the real day. We went up to Milwaukee where they strangely do their trick-or-treating the Saturday before the H day, which this year was basically a full week before. Here are some pictures of Nina, Niko, Hana and Lily:

Please note that my friend Tracy handmade her kids' costumes while slacker mom over here went online and bought the most unoriginal ones out there. But hey, my kids didn't seem to mind. After trick-or-treating we had a slumber party and here's how it went down until Niko was removed from Hana's room for an extreme silliness penalty:

Sadly the real Halloween was not as fun. The weather was perfect, but Nina was starting to get sick and I'm sure several pieces of cheap candy didn't help her. The next day my sister, my niece and nephew came to town, right as Nina started to spike a temp and puke her guts out. I didn't even take any pictures! (of Maggie and the kids, not Nina puking) But at least Niko was in pretty good health and got to spend time with his big cousins, who he now worships. I got to spend a little time with them too but it would have been nice to all have been together more.

So that started the week of illness and by the end of last week, Nina was still throwing up and feverish and I got strep throat. Niko had a pretty bad cold and Kaveh had, get this, nothing. The man has the immune system of the Incredible Hulk apparently. I'm crossing my fingers for no more illnesses until at least after Christmas! Please cross yours too.

Here's to a healthy week!

WOOOHOOOO!

2008-11-04T20:46:00.001-08:00

Oh man, I am so happy right now. We did it!!!!! I wish I was in SF right now celebrating in the Castro with my friends. So grab a glass of champagne, click the screen and say Hurray!!

Odd Man Out

2008-10-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I am a working mom. K (I'll call him this to protect his image as a metrosexual) is a working dad, but fortunately for us (although he may beg to differ), he works from home. This means that he has the lovely pleasure of schleping the kids to school and daycare in the morning and three late mornings a week, he gets to go pick our daughter up from kindergarten. Yes, that's right. Here in Illinois, it's still half-day kindergarten. Not only is this terribly inconvenient for working parents, I just don't see how they can fit everything you need to know in kindergarten in 2.75 hours. But nonetheless, this is how it is and our little girl seems to be adjusting well to big-kid school. K, on the other hand, is having a bit of a hard time getting his work done during the day which means a) he works late into the night most nights and b) I'm not getting much lovin' during the week. A+ B = cranky parents. But it's just one year, right?

In our pleasant little suburb it is a bit like going back in time. Most moms do not work, or if they do it is part-time. Probably 75% of her classmates get picked up by their mothers. Not too many fathers on campus either. Aside from K, we know of only two other dads that stay home. In our short time in the school community, we've learned that one dad is nicknamed "Creepy Guy" and the other is fondly referred to as "Perverted Guy Who Puts Rocks in His Pants and Makes Little Boys Go in After Them". Sigh. I wonder what the moms will be calling the tall, unshaven half-Iranian man.

Comatose

2008-10-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

That's how I've been feeling lately, especially at night. Maybe it's the fact that I went out twice last week during the week or stayed up late at our friend's house in Milwaukee on Saturday night, but every other night I've been falling asleep at 8 pm with the kids and napping for several hours. Now it's 11:15 pm on a school night and I'm wide awake. This is my horrible school-year sleeping habit. Oddly enough, my dad had (still has?) the same nightly routine - a nap after dinner and then he was up until about 1 am. If it's worked for him all these years, maybe it's not so bad, right?

Last week I had two rare treats - a close friend was visiting from SF so I got to go into the city, spend time with Sen, shop, drink wine and eat yummy Asian food. All the things we used to do, compressed into 3 hours. The next night, Kaveh and I went on a real date to go see our friend Cassidy's new apartment and see an incredible band Woven Hand from Denver. A little Nick Cave mixed with a little Miracle Legion (I'm really dating myself here). Basically a beautiful soulfoul voice with some tribal beats and sometimes some banjolin thrown in. Kaveh pointed out afterwards that the main dude is a born-again Christian but it was unlike any Christian rock I'd ever heard. Highly recommended.

So even though most of the time when I'm home at night after the kids are in bed I'm feeling old and achy and sleepy, there are times when I feel transported back 10 years and I remember who I am and what I like. I'd like to see her again more often.

Can Someone Please Buy Me This?

2008-10-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

Baby Mama

2008-10-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

You know it's been a while since you've posted when your mother complains that you haven't blogged in a while. So, this was my family-centered weekend:

Friday night Italian beef and Chicago hot dogs and wine for the adults. Our friends Maddy and Sam and their mommy hung out, made a mess and generally had a great time.

Saturday was the usual gymnastics and soccer (yes, my 3 year-old takes soccer - I'm one of those parents). Then we ate at the new, hip cafe in our little town where it felt like San Francisco a little bit since everyone in there had tattoos. (What is it about strong coffee and tattoos? ) Afterwards, went to a farm/park close to our house. Made friends with goats and pigs, ran after the kids. Try to visualize this in your head since Blogger is deciding to be a little bitch right now by not uploading this one particular image.

Today went to the Morton Arboretum and aside from the fact Nina was sulking and whining most of the time, it was a beautiful experience. See the fall foliage? Oooo, ahh.

Came home to rest and Nina and I watched Baby Mama together. Is that an inappropriate film to show your 5 year-old? She really liked it when Amy Poehler said something about farting into a purse. Am I mother of the year or what?

The weekend was topped off by a lovely white trash dessert. Here's the recipe:

1 box angel food cake mix

1 can pumpkin

Cool Whip or Jewel brand whipped topping

Mix it together so it is a nice even orange color, fluffy and smooth. Pour into cake pan. Throw some fall candy leaves, or maybe even some black sprinkles on top to make it look Halloweeny. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes. Top with Cool Whip for the ultimate taste sensation. Mmmmm.

I Can Smell It

2008-10-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

I'm copying my friend Jamie's style of posting an unrelated picture to the topic at hand. But while I'm on the subject, here's a really precious picture of Niko and his Amoo (uncle). Not having had a professional photographer at my own wedding, imagine my surprise when I saw that I could purchase this fine photograph for a mere $25. Yep. That's 25 bucks for one picture. So I guess digital will have to do for now.

Anyway, I'm smelling change all around me lately. Fall is here - the dazzling golden and red leaves are becoming more brilliant every day. The air, while still warm thankfully, has that crispness that just makes you crave apple cider and bonfires. Our clothes become longer and cover more of our bodies, the colors we chose to wear are more earthy. The Halloween decorations go up around the neighborhood. Last night we took a family walk and I loved it when the kids got a little bit scared of a skeleton on someone's lawn because then they would hug on to my leg nice and tight (is that so wrong to want your children to be afraid?).

But I'm noticing other changes that I think are related to a bigger world than this one here in La Grange. Lots of Obama signs on front lawns. Not just in front of the little houses like mine, but in front of the Victorian mansions as well. There are now three thrift stores on our little main street and the owner of one says that business is improving at a time when everyone else's is getting worse. My own school where I work and the one where Nina attends are forming Green Committees where we're talking about recycling more, composting, using green space for gardens and green house, and growing a living roof. Yes, this may not be San Francisco, but I'm seeing that a smaller, generally more conservative community is taking action where it is needed. Let's hope my optimism reigns true.

Now let's turn that optimism toward the possibility of me getting a full night's sleep tonight.

Sexual Healing

2008-10-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

As you may have read in one of my previous posts, I have been going to a monthly Jewish women's group called rosh chodesh which focuses on the kabbalah to try and get in touch with my Jewish (my ancestry is Jewish but I was basically raised Christian), mystical and hippie nature. Despite most of the gatherings being held in huge million dollar houses in River Forest, I think I'm meeting those requirements. The group studies the kabbalah, which is basically Jewish mysticism, not something Madonna invented, in a very loose way. According to the kabbalah, the Jewish calendar is a "road map for personal transformation" (Ribner, 2002). Each month, our "homework" is to read about the upcoming month and reflect on the particular area of healing and energy. Then we all get together and it's more or less group therapy, followed by doing yoga in the shapes of Hebrew letters. Love it!

Okay Jews and Goys, here's some good news about this month. It is a month of newness and openness, hence the New Year, and of sexual healing. That's right. This is the month of Tishrei and it is considered an excellent time for getting it on. Since this is the new year, it represents new life. New life = sex. Get it? But just don't have a quickie - light some candles, look deep into your partner's (or stranger's) eyes and really make a connection.

And so it has been written. Amen.

Biden -Palin on SNL

2008-10-05T07:09:00.001-07:00

In case you missed it - this will brighten your day!

Am I Sad?

2008-10-05T05:59:00.001-07:00

A couple of new readers to my blog (whoo hoo, now I'm up to 12!) have made the comment to that my blog is "sad". Is it? I try and stay with the cute and evil philosophy in which I take every endearing event and slightly look at the dark side, but does this make me sound melancholy? Sure, I can be a bit self-deprecating, but who wants to read a blog by someone who just pats themselves on the back all of the time?

The truth is that yes, I do suffer from bouts of depression. How could I not with my genes? We're Eastern European Jews, people! Sadness just plagues us deep within our loins. But really, I think I'm doing pretty well. Med-free and always have been (well, except for a brief period after Niko was born and thank God for those meds to help get through my postpartum issues). I'd like to think I'm a pretty chipper person too, except for sometimes at night, when I'm home in this strange land, when the kids are asleep and Kaveh is on the computer working for the 5th night in a row, yes, I do feel depressed. And since this is the only time I can blog, well, I guess some of my posts can reflect my mood. I'm one of those people who purposely makes myself extremely busy to be happy. But when you're home with kids most nights, your thoughts have a way of catching up to you. That's why investments like the treadmill, craft projects, Thich Naht Khan books and the phone have saved me.

On a happier note, the picture above is the beautiful flower girls, cousin Arianna and Nina. Don't they look precious?

Today is Sunday and while I slept through a 5k I was supposed to run, oops, it's a beautiful day. It's a pumpkin patch, make some Halloween headbands and go to the Daisy Girl Scouts dinner kind of day! Happy happy joy joy!

All Dressed Up

2008-09-28T19:24:00.000-07:00

Here we are in all our glory at Samad and Stephanie's wedding. If you want to see more pictures, join Facebook and become my friend, if you dare. The trip to Cali went well. No, we weren't gone for a week, but I'm just getting my lame ass on here now to write about it.

Let's see, if was definitely a whirlwind journey. Left Friday morning and had a pretty easy flight with the kids, thanks to the brilliant invention called the DVD. As soon as we landed, we got our rental mini van (tip: rent cars on Hotwire and save mega bucks), drove to the hotel near Irvine, I race in to change into my party dress, jump back in the car and get dropped off at the Irvine Spectrum for the bachelorette party. It was my first bachelorette party where the dad and brother attended, but hey, they were buying the drinks so I didn't care! We went into LA to see Chris Pierce (who btw Jamie reminded me of a nice former roommate of yours) and totally fell in love with his music. It's not my usual type of band I'm in to, but he had the most beautiful voice and his songs were just so damn positive and sweet it's impossible not to fall for this guy. Debby Holliday opened for him and she totally blew me away with her powerful vocals and catchy tunes. Man, I wish I could sing like that.

So that was just Friday night. The next day was Saturday and needless to say I was illin', especially since the kids got up at 6:30 or some such nonsense. We hung around the hotel for a bit, then saw some cousins who lived nearby, then drove to Riverside to the Mission Inn. This place was simply gorgeous and the chapel where Sammy and Steph were married was perfect. Just like one of the old churches in Mexico. After a day of rehearsal, hot tubbing and a rehearsal dinner with about 75 people,we were ready for the wedding. Sadly Kaveh decided to skip the bachelor party (damn - I wanted to hear the inside dirt), but he was better off since we didn't even get back to the hotel until close to 11.

The next morning, Nina and I awoke at 6am to go to Steph's place to get our hair done. Groan. Nina's hair looked great, mine looked okay except you couldn't tell I had it done. I decided to splurge and get my make-up done and I felt glamorous for the first time in a very long time. The wedding was beautiful except for the fact that Niko, the ring bearer, decided to be a very naughty boy during the wedding and threw a fit when he had to give the pillow (it had fake rings on it, thankfully) to the best man. Kaveh and I were both in the wedding so we were powerless to deal with him. Thanks to cousin Sahra and Aunt Vikki for calming him down. He fell asleep immediately after the wedding. Poor kid.

I could go on but, hey! WAKE UP! I'm sure this is boring the crap out of you. It was so great to see family (especially you Sahra and Marilyn) and I am very happy to have Stephanie as my sis-in-law. She is truly soooo sweet. The kind of sweet person who kind of makes you sick they're so nice. I'll have to uncover her dark side so I don't feel so mean and cynical around her.

So we're back to the grind now and are too broke to travel anywhere else for a while. It's starting to feel like fall 'round here and the excitement of the holidays is in the air. I'm settling in to work and starting to get to know my new students. The kids seem to be adjusting to their new schedule without too many issues. Time is moving ahead and we are just riding the waves seeing where we'll go next.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to the OC We Go

2008-09-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to get on here to post some pictures, but the one down-side to having Kaveh working from home, taking the kids to school in the morning and picking Nina up 3 late mornings a week (why, oh, why is kindergarten only two and a half hours?) is that he has to work at night. Which means he hogs the one computer that I can download pictures on. Damn him. I suppose I could learn to do it on one of our 3 other computers (well, technically there are 4 others but one is broken) but that would just be too much to try and learn for my brain at night.

So, I'll just tell you what's up - school, work which is in a school, home, eat, clean, make an occasional monster shirt (which is what I wanted to show you people), write some horoscopes for teens, deal with Niko's frequent meltdowns, sleep, exercise, play with the kids if I'm not too wiped out, etc. Gee my life is exciting. But really, I feel pretty happy. Sure, I get VERY anxious when I think about the possibility of another republican getting into the White House, the effects of global warming impacting us RIGHT NOW, the failing economy, and other malaise du jour, but I try and read my spiritual books, absorb myself in helping children and do the best I can to live a positive existence. What choice do we have really?

So anyway, I digress as usual. Friday we're leavin' on a jet plane to go to Orange County for my brother-in-law's wedding. It's a big deal and we're very excited. We're all in the wedding and we're all going to look fabulous - especially Nina and Niko in their flower girl dress and tux, respectively. I can't wait to post the pictures and I promise I will! Wish us luck on yet another plane trip to Cali. It seems to be getting easier to fly with the kids, but Niko has been giving me a run for my money lately. I'm stocking up on candy, dvds and nose spray. Anyone have a Xanex for me??

Hasta luego!

A Song for You, Ma

2008-09-09T05:21:00.000-07:00

Now this has got to be the best Jesus song ever Created.

Calling It Quits

2008-09-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I am officially not a cool mom anymore. Whenever someone would hear that I was still in a band, and later a punk-rock choir, they would say,if they were on the younger side, "Wow, I hope I'm a hip mom like you someday" or, if they were older, they might say, "Wow, you are crazy". Well, now I'm neither. I quit singing in the punk choir and have no (immediate) plans to join another band or group.

I'm not sure exactly why I quit the choir. Sure I was the oldest member, or maybe there were a couple single dudes who were 40, but I was also the only parent. I tried my hardest to form relationships with various members, but after a year and a half there was no particular person in the group that I would call a good friend. I was also the only one living in the suburbs and if you are a city hipster, a suburban mom is an instant turn off.

I feel as if I'm losing a big part of myself - I have been singing in some sort of group since I was 20 and as a child I wanted to sing in Broadway musicals. Am I just a big quitter? Another reason, which is huge, was to be home more with my tots. Practice was only once a week, but with monthly gigs it seemed like I was always abandoning my family. Especially now that Nina just started kindergarten, Niko's in preschool and I'm back at work full-time I really need to be around.

So maybe I'll be blogging more now, although I won't have any exciting rock 'n roll tales. Maybe I'll tinker around with my new computer (yes, at my posh public school they just handed me a brand new MacBook even though I already had 2 other perfectly good computers) since it has Garage Band. Maybe I'll get to those 101 creative projects that I've been meaning to get at for about 20 years.

Or maybe I'll just go clean the house, do the laundry, make the lunches and then collapse.

Birthdays and Kindergarten

2008-08-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you don't blog enough - major milestones just run together. Well, for starters, today is Niko's 3rd birthday. Here he is making an attempt to give the "evil eye".

Isn't he just so cute? It's definitely true what they say about the second child- it all goes way faster than the first. We celebrated by having his party this weekend at our local park district building. It was the ultimate slacker mom's party - I just paid some extra dough and they decorated the room for us, made the goodie bags and even had a peppy young woman to run some super hero games. Here's a shot of "Hot Potato Superman".
All I had to do was bring the food and drinks and voila - instant partay. I did spend 4 hours making those capes, however, and they were a big hit for about 10 minutes.

Tonight for the actual birthday I let Niko chose his favorite meal, sushi, and go to Blockbuster to pick out a movie of his choice, Diego. Diego is a little better than his cousin (or prima as he would say) but in tonight's episode, who should make a surprise appearance? Dora. Doh!

On the other sibiling note, Nina survived not only her first but her second day of kindergarten. Here she is with the 20 other children with whom she will be stuck for the rest of the year:
They seem like a pretty nice bunch actually. Nina cried right after this picture was taken, but ended up having a good day. I mean it's only 2 1/2 hours for god's sake! After being in daycare since she was 6 months old, this was a breeze. Plus her teacher, the famed Mrs. B, is truly famous 'round these here parts for being the most amazing teacher since Mr. Rogers. Overall I'm happy. I mean, this is what we moved here for, right?

So it's been an action-packed week full of transitions. Up next, Cassie Quits the Punk-Rock Choir and Niko Starts Preschool!

Tomorrow's the Day

2008-08-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, tomorrow is, sniff, the first day, sniff, of my little girl's kindergarten. Sniff. Can you believe how big she's gotten? Here she is pictured with her Nana this summer with her first (of many I'm sure) American Girl dolls. Tomorrow she leaves her toys behind ("No Nina, Ellie (her stuffed elephant) can't even come in the backpack to kindergarten") and heads out to big-kid school. I feel so faclemped.

The Fast Fast

2008-08-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I began what I thought was going to be a 10-day detox/cleanse. The "master cleanse" as it's called, or alternately the "lemonade diet". Kaveh's cousin, who's 26 and just popped out her fourth child just did it, lost 20 pounds and reportedly felt great. She made it sound so easy and worthwhile, I thought I'd give it a shot. I mean, I went back to work this week after a summer of beer, wine, lots of grilled meat and trips to cute ice cream parlors. Plus I thought it would be a great thing to blog about and would get me loads of readers since everyone Googles diets.

So the cleanse consists of making your own lemonade with lemons or limes, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. I believe the last ingredient, although the recipe calls for just a dash, is the kiss of death. You just make a giant batch of this beverage, drink as much as you want and just wait to start feeling and looking great. I believe this cleanse is very popular with the 20-something crowd, because I've mentioned it to a few 26 year-old and they were all like, "Oh yeah, the lemonade and cayenne pepper drink!".

Anyway, so Sunday I start making a giant vat of this stuff with all the ingredients I bought. At first it tasted good and I barely noticed the hot pepper. As the day went on, I was still feeling great and was optimistic I could make it through the week. This was about 2 hours into it, mind you. But let me tell you, by about 7 at night I thought I might die. I had waves of nausea and headaches, felt dizzy and started getting really cranky. By about 8pm, I gave up and attacked some cherries and peaches. I thought I could maybe get away with drinking the lemonade and eating raw foods, but that didn't work for me either. Especially because the next day at a workshop there was a free lunch and I couldn't pass up a free lunch!

So much for the detox. Obviously I really need it, but am far too weak to do it. Maybe if I was on an island with nothing to do but lay in the warm sun and float on a raft I'd be up for the challenge. Until then, work will have to suffice as my one and only detox.

Writing is Hard

2008-08-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, I didn't realize how hard it is to be a writer. Deadlines, typing, thinking. Whew! Who knew? My deadline is tomorrow night and I only have 4 horoscopes to go. I wish I had some of you, my beloved friends and family, nearby to bounce ideas off of. Right now I just have Kaveh. When I ask him how something sounds, I really just want him to say, "Great!". But no, he actually has opinions and really that makes me second guess myself and then I start freaking out that my writing sucks. So now I'm just blazing through them and telling myself that everything sounds great.

Wish me luck! Then Monday it's back to work :(

Always a Bride, Never a Bridesmaid

2008-08-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

The summer will be over for me officially today. I start back to work on Monday, and although I am pretty excited about my new job, I don't feel quite ready to kiss the dog days of summer goodbye. But what's a working mom to do? Look on the bright side and start looking forward to some future events.

Here's one - my brother-in-law is getting married in LA this September! I get to take 2 days off and go to California again! Financially it may ruin us, but how often do my children get to be the flower girl and ring bearer in a wedding? Yes, that's right. They are going to look precious. I just got Nina her dress that actually cost more than my own wedding dress (in all fairness, mine only cost $100) and Niko gets to wear a tux! Could you just die?

My kids are not the only ones who get a chance to shine - I was asked to be a bridesmaid. Now, the bride-to-be doesn't know me that well. If she did, she may not have asked. I have only been a bridesmaid twice before; once for my sister who is now divorced and remarried (she eloped the second time, smart) and the other one I am no longer friends with the bride (well, recently we've started communicating again but that's pretty weird - "breaking up" with a friend and then trying to "get back together"). Hopefully nothing bad will happen in this marriage, but I'm going to start burning sage around myself every night until then.

On a positive note, she said we could just pick out our own black dress. Perfect. I love black and it gave me an excuse to shop at that fancy boutique in my town. Yes, there are actually TWO fancy boutiques La Grange. Impressive, no?

In Search of the Perfect Pool

2008-08-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

As summer draws to a close, for me at least since I'm going back to work in a week and a half, friends ask me, "So what have you been up to this summer?" Well, we did go on a vacation to California, had many visitors, some nice visits up to Wisconsin to hang with the grandparents, but really, mostly what we've been doing is seeking the ultimate pool experience.

This summer I actually shelled out some dough to join a health club with an indoor and outdoor pool, a restaurant with full bar, a spa, and oh yeah, exercise stuff. The place used to be a "tennis country club" but I guess it was near bankruptcy so it had to open it's doors to the commoners like me. So we do frequent our gym pool several times a week. The moms there are tan, toned and bikini-clad. How this is possible when some of them have 3 or 4 kids I'll never know.

On days we don't go to our gym pool, we seek cool waters in other places. Sprinkler parks like Ty Warner (yes, that the Ty as in beanie babies), filing up the baby pool in the backyard, and even Lake Michigan, although I'm embarrassed to say we only swam there once so far. Today we discovered a new public pool, The Cermak Family Aquatic Center which was pretty deluxe aside from the fact that there were about 10,000 people there. There were several pools, a lazy river with inner tubes and loads of sprinklers. Don't you just love the sound of the words "lazy river"? Sadly I wasn't lazily floating down the aqueduct, I was frantically making sure my kids didn't drown, but hey, at least I know it's there when they get a little older.

Now we're home for another favorite summertime activity - the family nap. You know, it's very tiring hanging out at the pool all day. 'Night.

Moi, A Paid Writer?

2008-08-01T19:47:00.001-07:00

Yes people, miracles do happen. I am about to become a professional writer. For two months until they hire the real writer. But for now, I am not only a writer, but I am a paid writer of teen horoscopes! Didn't know I was an astrologer, did you now? Well, now you know another secret about me, dear readers. Plus, I love giving advice, and the teenage mind is right on my level.

In case you're wondering, I will be writing for, get this, a teenage manga magazine called Shojo Beat. How perfect is that? I have been into Japanese animation since, well, Speed Racer (the actual cartoon), and also Japanese pop culture for just as long. Anyone recall Kero Kero Keroppi? I don't know how this life-long obsession with cute has led me to this path, but who am I to argue with the fates?

I'm off to brush up on my astrology skills so as to not make an ass out of myself for all teenage America to read. I'm also going to continue book 2 of Fruits Basket - highly recommended reading. In fact, just get yourself a copy of Shojo Beat, especially the November and December issues! Sayonara!

Good Times All the Time

2008-07-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

Boy, this blog has given my constant guilt-ridden mind something to feel guilty about. You are always with me, dear blog, even if I ignore you the way I did my teen journals until I was distraught over a boy or a fight with a friend. But today I am not (very) distraught. I am happily enjoying my summer, although I only have a mere 3 weeks left of it :(. But I won't focus on the negative, oh no, I'll tell you about my exciting summer since we last left off.

My mom came to town a few weeks ago. Even though she didn't stay with us, we got to see her a lot. Highlights of the visit were seeing the Harvard Glee Club- I was sold at their slogan "60 Men, One Voice". Yeah baby. There were some cute little smarty geeky boys singing and their voices actually sounded nice too. Put my glee to shame, actually. The next day Mom spent the day here and lovely La Grange and we went to the local craft show, which was amazing. If you're into buying clothing for your lawn geese, that is.
You know you wish you could have gotten a deal on those lawn geese clothes! We dined in La Grange, walked around and had a nice time with the kids and Nana. The next day we went into the city and Nina got her very first American Girl Doll at the actual American Girl store! Have you been there? It's definitely an experience. Kaveh won't set foot in there and starts getting grumpy even being within a 5 block radius of it, but I personally love it. Why didn't they have such a place when I was a girl?

Okay, speeding along. After a great visit with Mom, we rested up for a few days and then my BFF, Jamie, came to town with M & M. They took the train all the way here from San Francisco! Needless to say, there were a little wiped out, but we managed to have loads of fun playing, swimming, riding bikes, having a fire in the backyard and telling ghost stories. Having 4 kids in our house was a little chaotic, but it was so great to have them finally visit. Come back soon, J!

Now I'm getting ready to cuddle with the hubbie before he leaves for a business trip to Miami tomorrow. Poor guy. More exciting tales of summer '08 to come.... .

The Next Chocolate Rain

2008-07-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Did you realize you are reading the words of someone who is about to become really famous? Well, yes, it's true. You might remember a while back I posted the Poop on the Potty song on You Tube. It's been getting a decent amount of hits, I guess a lot of bored teenagers are searching for "poop". So the other day I get the following comment:

phattyfosho has made a comment on Poop on the Potty Song.

omg. this is the new fad of all my friends. come to owasso mid high and this song is all you will hear.

OMG! In case you're wondering, that high school is in Oklahoma. Fame and fortune, hear I come! Anyone want to help me record the extended dance mix?

Feeling Better

2008-07-16T17:33:00.001-07:00

Here is my little dear and her princess friends and her Real Live Princesses who graced our presence at her party. Note the unibrow made by Nina herself.

Now she is feeling better- she actually didn't have a UTI, just urethritis. This is good news for her kidneys and now she is her normal goofy self. We're relaxing up in WI right now at the grandparents and on Sunday my BFF, Jamie, and her 2 kids are traveling by train and coming for a visit! Hurray! And before that it's our annual block party on Saturday.

Block parties are different here in the Midwest. Back east, we had an annual 4th of July block party which basically consisting of families bringing a dish to share and standing in the middle of the street. But here, there are special committees that meet several times to plan the big day, bands, jumpies, ladder golf, bags (aka corn hole), pie eating contests, chili cook-off - you name it. Oh, and I'm sure lots of drinking amongst the parents. Not here though, don't worry mom.

Count Your Blessings

2008-07-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

Why is it that it takes one of my kids getting sick to really stop and fully realize how precious they are to me? Alright, I know I always love them dearly but I do have my moments when I'm fed up, tired and burnt out. Then they get sick and full force guilt takes over.

Nina is still sick and it seems as if she has a urinary tract infection. Some of you may know she has a history of kidney reflux and was on antibiotics for just about one year when she was 2. Then her reflux resolved itself mostly and she hasn't has a UTI since. But this week when what seemed like a cold turned into lots of stomach pains and vomiting and overall lethargy, I decided to get her checked out at the pediatrician. She had a lot of white blood cells in her urine, so they put her on an antibiotic until the culture comes back on Monday. She seemed like she was perking up earlier, but then tonight there was more throwing up and the poor kid has barely eaten a thing all week. Her little round tummy has all but disappeared.

I'm getting a little freaked out, mostly from going on the stupid internet and reading all about UTIs in children and kidney scaring and all sorts of horrible things. Please cross you fingers, say a prayer, throw some salt - whatever you do to make good things happen.

Tomorrow my mom comes for a visit - I'm excited to see her but wish it was under healthier circumstances.

Party's Over

2008-07-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

All the running around, staying up late, traveling and general summer fun has indeed caught up to us. Nina is sick and we've been stuck in the house all week. My poor baby doesn't want to eat and just lays there listless all day. Tomorrow we'll go to the doctor if she's not better; not like they'll say anything other than "It's a virus. Deal with it".

All this sitting around the house has reminded me of all the creative projects I want to get done, but cannot since I rarely get more than 30 consecutive minutes of quiet inactive time per day. And that's being generous. Even sitting here blogging I'm feeling guilty about those dishes in the sink, laundry to be folded - you know the domestic hell. But hey, I'm writing anyway just like I promised.

Today wasn't a total wash. I took Niko out for a bit since he tends to throw more tantrums in the house than out. First we went to my favorite neighborhood here in Chicagoland - Oak Park. It's kind of like Berkeley in that's it's diverse and liberal. Wait, is Berkeley diverse? Well, anyway in OP there's a new Green Home store that we went to check out and I got a very exciting compost bin! Kaveh tried to make us a homemade one out of chicken wire but that didn't work out too well. The store is very cool and if I ever have money to remodel our house, I'll definitely be going there for materials.

After the stop at the green store, I took Niko out to a raw food restaurant. Yes, we have a raw food restaurant near my house too! The Midwest isn't looking so bad anymore, huh? It's right next to a hot dog restaurant that serves your food on a train, but luckily Niko didn't remember the one time we went there. Phew. Anyway, the food was good and Niko got to eat a "banana split" for lunch. Sadly he appeared to be starving the rest of the day and kept asking for more and more food once we were home. God I'm a bad mom!

Okay, that's enough. Tune in tomorrow to see if Nina gets better, Niko is still hungry and if raccoons invade the compost bin.

Swim Lessons and Kabbalah

2008-07-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

The summer has been in full swing and we have been moving at a rapid pace. I feel so guilty about not writing and then my guilt turns into writer's block and thus the cycle of no posting begins. So here goes:
I'm getting a little worn out but we have had tons of fun. Let's see, after Nina's party we went to a wedding in Dixon, Illinois. Did you know this is the hometown of Ronald Reagan?! It's basically 2 hours west of Chicago with not much around but cornfields, yet the cornfields are beautiful and the sky is big. The wedding was an interesting mix of Kaveh's Persian family and just plain ol' Americans. There was a pig roast, a sofreh and lots of hippie-ish early 30 year-olds dancing to reggae music. Quiet strange. But mostly I chased around the kids in a big outdoor field, making sure they didn't go near the large pond on the property.

After the wedding it was back home to where Nina started her daily swim lessons for the next two weeks. She cries at the beginning of each lesson, but then some buff teenager grabs her and puts her in the water and then she's happy as a mermaid. She's learning to float and actually puts her entire head under the water without shouting," I need a towel!!" as she does in the bathtub at night.
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Last Tuesday night I went to my second Rosh Chodesh group. This means something about the new moon in Hebrew and it is a time where women are supposed to be worshipped for bringing light in a time of darkness. I'm definitely down with that. This is a Kabbalah group, I guess, but so far it seems like women's group therapy. Either way, I really enjoy it and it's warm fuzziness reminds me of the Bay Area. We basically talk about the theme of each month, so far it's been Receiving and Seeing. Each women, ranging from ages 25-75, shares a personal experience that relates to the theme. We do some mediation and even did some yoga to form Hebrew letters this last time. It is a very lovely way to spend an evening once a month, I must say, and the women are great too.

And in other news, Niko is completely potty trained!! Well, except for his aim. I got squirted in the face today. The things we do for love... .

I promise to write more!! Don't give up on me.

Better Times

2008-06-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

Well, today was a big improvement from yesterday. Although we had some dark clouds and little rainstorms, Nina's birthday party was a great success. We only had 9 kids total, which was a perfect size. We borrowed my neighbors jumpy, one of those giant inflatable bouncy houses that kids love. But the best part was - REAL princesses! I asked 2 of my cute 20-something friends from Glee Club to come dressed as princesses and they were thrilled. They even went thrifting and found 2 gorgeous poofy wedding dresses. I would post pictures now but a) I don't know where the camera is and b) I don't know where Kaveh's computer is and he's out on the town with our buddy Hugh. I promise to post some soon. Anyway, the princesses did hair, make-up and tattoos, granted wishes and lead a game of "Put Cinderella in the Castle". What could be more fun? There were no tears the whole time and in general it was a perfect day. No matter that my house now looks like a bomb went off, both inside and out.

But still, no Alice. Waahhh!!

Tomorrow we're off to exciting Dixon, IL for another wedding. It's half Persian wedding, half pig roast so it's bound to be one heck of a time!

Not the Happiest Birthday

2008-06-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

Happy 5th birthday, my darling daughter. The day started off pretty okay. A big present from Mommy and Baba (a Barbie bedroom set- that Barbie lives well) and a blinking "Birthday Girl" tiara. Ouch, the tiara is too tight, but at least the Barbie is a hit, for about 10 minutes. After breakfast it's off to an exciting day at the babysitter's. I know, I'm bad. But I had so many errands to run before the big party tomorrow and I HAD to have lunch with my friend at this Thai restaurant I've been dying to go to for months. Yes, I'm bad. But the kids had fun at the sitter's and I picked them up early, got them shoes at Payless (even mom got a pair for $3.50 - whata bargain!), came home and opened packages from Aunt Maggie and me (costumes) and then went to dinner at a great little pizza joint. Then things got a little crazy.

Both Kaveh and I left our cell phones at the restaurant. When we got home we got 2 calls from them. They called the "home" numbers listed on our contacts and sure enough both were the same. I guess Tony at the restaurant even answered the phone once and talked to Kaveh's mom. When Kaveh went to retrieve the phones, Tony informs him, "Your mom called. She's worried about you". But I'm getting ahead of myself. After dinner we went, along with our friend Hugh who's visiting from SF, to get ice cream. Did I mention that both kids were wearing costumes? Well, Batgirl and Optimus Prime got huge cones and dripped all over their new outfits. Then Niko wanted to take his off. Then he's running around the sidewalks of La Grange with a pull-up on his head. Nina is meanwhile sweating her ass off in the Batgirl outfit. A friend from work drives up and sees my little freaks. I am slightly embarrassed.

When we get home, Nina immediately goes over to Alice the Tortoise's outdoor terrarium to show Hugh. But where is Alice? Kaveh investigates and it appears that Alice has burrowed under her fence. Nina immediately bursts into tears. We look all over the yard, but really it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Nina cries some more. Then she gags. Then her cherry swirl birthday ice cream comes up, all over the ground and her new Batgirl costume. She's so upset she throws up some more. We continue to look for Alice but she is still missing. Even I am pretty sad- I loved that little burby wurtle and was just getting used to the idea that I would have her for the next 50 years.
Wahhhh!!

Wish us luck tomorrow, the official b-day party extravaganza. At least I won't have to worry about the kids torturing the tortoise.

WAAHHHHH!!

We're Ba-ack!

2008-06-24T21:15:00.001-07:00

Well, we have been back in Illinois for a few days now but it's only until now where I have a moment to write to all of my adoring fans. I will post more pictures, I promise, both here and on my Facebook account. What? You're not on Facebook? Go on and become my friend!. I am, in fact, uploading about 80 photos on there now.

Anyway, we had a fabulous trip to CA. Here are a list of the highlights so I can be concise:
1) Having a barbecue in lovely Brisbane with my friends Julia, Jamie, Mike & Suling and all of our offspring. Nina was a little slow to warm up but when the boys started running around completely naked she got into the swing of things.
2) Staying in our old neighborhood in the Outer Sunset where we got a taste of the fog and the beach.
3) Seeing our wonderful cousins, aunts and uncles, especially Sahra, Uncle Dave, Jon, Marilyn and Xander and seeing the kids bond with their not-forgotten family.
4) Spending time with my BFF, Jamie and her kids. I'm bribing them into loving me.
5) Jamming for 6 HOURS (no shit) with my old band, Hazy. Too bad we forgot all the songs a few days later at another bbq.
6) Going to K & K's house for a bbq honoring us. Thanks so much you two - you're the best. We promise to have it at someone else's house next year. Any volunteers?
7) Making the pilgrimage to Pescadero for their world famous artichoke bread, then going to our beach and our state park, Butano. That's right, it's ours!
8) Going to a wedding in Lake Tahoe.
9) Just being in Lake Tahoe.
10) Seeing many old and dear friends - have I mentioned how much I love my CA friends??

Well, ten seems like a good number to stop. Now, here are the 10 worst things about the trip:
1) I look so fat in all the pictures.
2) I drank a lot. That's actually good and bad.
3) The kids slept like hell and now they both want us to sleep with them every night.
4) The shower in the hotel in Tahoe broke one hour before the wedding. I tried to complain like my sister told me, but so far all I've gotten was some chick's promise that a voucher for a free room is in the mail.
5) I cried a lot and wondered, "What the hell am I doing in the Midwest?"
6) I never got to sleep in the same bed as my husband. You know what that means.
7) I gained about 5 pounds.
8) I got guilt-tripped a lot about leaving the Bay Area.
9) I had to come home.
10) I didn't get to go to my favorite place on earth - Japantown.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I didn't want all you readers to be jealous of my fabulous vacation.

That's a rap for now. Stay tuned - tomorrow is Nina's 5th birthday!!!

The Best of Friends, The Worst of Friends

2008-06-08T07:04:00.001-07:00

Preschool Graduation

2008-06-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures of Nina at her preschool graduation, and then one of me and Niko so he doesn't feel left out one day when he reads this. The graduation was a very sweet affair - Nina got to carry the American flag proudly walking into the ceremony. Then the kids sung songs from each month of the year -it was so darn sweet. Afterwards we had a celebratory brunch and a trip to Nina's favorite place, the Disney store. What a memorable day.

I'm a little fried from this being the last week of school (!), celebrating birthdays (today is Kaveh's - happy birthday, Baba!), graduations, baby showers, women's Kabbala group (more on that later), end of the year luncheons, etc. And one week from today we leave for SF! Look out Cali - here we come!

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-05-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well, another year, more gray hair. I'm 38 today but don't really feel like it or at least how I think I'm supposed to feel. We celebrated last night by having really great Mexican food (I finally got to try corn smut, or huilacoche - very exciting), drinking yummy sangria and eating extra chocolatey ice cream cake. Not bad. Tonight I'm going to see Avenue Q with my mother-in-law and a couple of "aunts"(distant relatives on K's side that fall under the "aunt" or Ame category). Tomorrow my dad is coming into town for a long weekend, which means more eating out and maybe even going to see some music. Oh, and of course the annual La Grange Pet Parade. Life is pretty good.

And more exciting news, I got hired in the school district in which I currently work! I'm getting a raise for doing the same exact job and even got my own laptop (so it's 5 years old - I'll take it!) to boot. I think 38 is going to be a good year.

Rest in Peace, Danny

2008-05-26T20:40:00.001-07:00

I recently found out that one of my students, not yet five years old, has passed away. It wasn't a big surprise - this child has been incredibly ill since birth. In fact, I was seeing him in his home, as were all his therapists and teachers. Danny had SMA, spinal muscular atrophy, which left him ventilated, tube fed, basically unresponsive to most stimuli and had no voluntary movement. Yet, even so, Danny was a darling little boy. At times he would smile and it would brighten the room. He had beautiful blue eyes that sparkled and soft blond hair. His mom always made sure he was neat and groomed and she cared for him better than any nurse or doctor could. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to care for a child who was that sick, especially when half the time she didn't have nurse coverage and would have to stay up all night, suctioning Danny's trachea, repositioning him and just making sure he his heart rate stayed where it was supposed to be.

The doctors initially said Danny wouldn't live past 18 months. He hung on quite a bit longer than that, but his heart finally couldn't keep up. I will never know if Danny was aware of my presence each week working with him, but I do know that I won't forget him or his family. I won't forget the unconditional love a mother has for her child. I feel lucky to have been a small part of his world.

Nine Years

2008-05-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

Today marks an important milestone for me and my family - it is the nine year anniversary of the day Kaveh and I fell in love. Well, Kaveh didn't especially know he fell in love with me on that day, but he did.

I was camping at Butano State Park one weekend with my friends Jamie and Rich and their dog, Chicken (may he rest in peace). Butano was a favorite spot of ours - in the redwood forest, close to the city, close to artichoke bread and the beach - a perfect spot really. When we drove up, right away we knew there were other SF people there - we saw a lot of cars with Burning Man and F-Space stickers. Someone told us there was a wedding going on somewhere in the woods and Jamie and I, being our naturally curious selves (aka nosey) went to take a little stroll with the dog to see if we could find it.

After a short while on a trial, I see a familiar face - Kaveh! He was the sweet guy who used to date my roommate way back in 1995. She dumped him shortly after they started dating and our group of friends was deeply disappointed since we all thought he was such a nice guy. Probably why she dumped him. I hadn't noticed before, mostly because he was dating my roommate and I was dating someone at the time, but this guy was pretty cute. Tall, dark and handsome with an exotic name. He was an artist, I knew -also a plus for me at that time (I ONLY dated artists and musicians, of course).

Long story short - we met on the path, talked for a bit. Then he and his friend invited us to the wedding reception. We went down to a clearing in the woods and found ourselves in the middle of a hippie wedding celebration. The bride was Danish and we were immediately handed some Aquavit - the official drink of Denmark. Kaveh seemed to disappear into the crowd, even though I was trying my best to follow him around like a puppy. It started getting dark, I think I asked him for his email to get on his mailing list for his latest art performance group, and that was it. But I had plans... .

When we returned to the city, I emailed him right away and asked him out. So I was a little forward - sometimes you just know a good thing when you see it. Sure enough, after 2 dates the deal was sealed and we've been together ever since. Not to get too sappy, but after nine years I can still say I am still in love with my man and never regretted making the first move. Yeah!

It's a Girl!

2008-05-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Well, just because we don't have enough going on in our lives, we've expanded our family to include one new Russian Tortoise. Her name is Alice and she is about a year old. Apparently she can live up to 50 years so I'm basically f-ed for the next five decades. Or, if she doesn't survive I'm going to feel incredibly guilty. But not to harp on the negative - isn't she just precious? The kids love her, it's just a little too soon to tell if she loves us back. I'm already stressing out like it's a new baby - why isn't she eating? When will she pee? Should I be holding her more or let her wander in the backyard unsupervised?

Those 2 of you who have known me for a long time might recall another pet turtle I had. A friend found him while on an archaeological dig and he was just the tiniest cutest cutie-cute ever. I begged to take him home and when I did I named him Burby Wurtle. All was grand until I discovered that Burby was a snapping turtle and it bit my roommate (it's mouth opened like 3 times the size of it's body). I then decided that I would free the turtle in White Clay Creek. My best friend Jamie alerted me to the fact that I basically killed the turtle by doing this, but I still believe he's out there, snapping away at young U of D stoners hanging out in the woods.

Don't worry, I won't abandon Alice. I've already fallen in love with her. I'm even starting to plan her Halloween costume!

Migraine?

2008-05-16T20:13:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure but last night I'm pretty sure I had a migraine. I don't think it was my first, but it was definitely the worst. I got home from work and a job interview, was feeling pretty stressed out about next year and I got a headache that just wouldn't quit. The lights seemed unbearably bright and then I started to get nauseous. I almost threw up but didn't, since I'm not really a big puker. I slept a lot and in the morning the headache was gone, but the nausea remained. I tried to go to work but had to leave mid-day and even now, at 10:17 pm I'm still not feeling 100%. I really hope this isn't a recurring problem - I had something similar a few months ago sans feeling sick to my stomach. Do any of you ever get migraines? Does it sound like the symptoms?

Reconnecting

2008-05-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

This time of year is crazy busy for us folks (god I hate that word, folks) who work in the schools. There's tons of meetings, evaluations, reevaluations, progress reports, evaluation reports to write, transition meetings, generally just hell. So that's my excuse this week for not writing. But, to follow-up on a previous post, I've decided to stay in the schools for now. A decent salary, good benefits, SUMMERS OFF - you can't really beat it. Especially now, in this stage of the game, I feel that the schools are the best fit for me, for us. Maybe some day I'll venture over to the private sector, who the heck knows. Now I just have to get through the next 3 weeks and then school's out! I have many plans for the summer - I'll spend quality time with the kids, make all those robot t-shirts, bake, cook healthy vegan food (more on that another day), write my book or short-story or screenplay, exercise daily, hang out at the pool ... . Yeah, sure I will. But the one thing I am most certain to do, being the extremely social creature that I am, is email and call friends.

Shortly having joined Facebook and my high school class website, I have been reconnecting with friends that I've had since grade school, junior high, high school, college and beyond. They find me, I find them. It's amazing. My friend Lisa recently found me on Facebook and I haven't seen or spoken to her since 1995. She is an amazing woman who has been through so much and I'd always wondered what ever happened to Lisa? Well, now I know she lives in the Bay Area and I get to see her when I visit this summer! My best friend in high school, Jenny, contacted me and I learn that we each have a boy and a girl, two years apart. I get in touch with an old boyfriend from Boston (don't sweat it, Kaveh) and learn that he is working on publishing his comic book (and yes, I was the first one to turn him on to underground comics like Hate and Eightball). There have been literally like 10 others that I have gotten back in touch with. It's great for a very social-by-nature yet forced-to-be-reclusive type as myself. I hear about friends from high school living all over the world and it indeed makes the world seem like a very small place. Even though it's not as good as having the face-to-face contact, it does satisfy some of my social needs and makes me appreciate that I have met some pretty special people in my life.

Now I have to decide if I'm going to go to my 2oth high school reunion in the fall and if so, shit, I'd better start getting in shape for it now!

Damn Birds!

2008-05-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

Living in the pseudo-country, aka suburbia, is nice and all - you've got more space, a nice backyard, lots of trees and flowers and kids frolicking, and peace and QUIET. You would think in this tranquil environment children would sleep like logs, until 7:30, maybe even 8 o'clock in the morning. Things were going pretty well in the winter. Those dark, depressing, frigid mornings would keep even the most squirrelly of children laying listless in bed until mid-day. But now, the sun is shining, the cool breeze is blowing and creatures of all species are coming out to celebrate the arrival of spring. Including the birds. Even with the windows closed, these little chirpies are piercingly loud, and I do believe our dear friend the cardinal is to blame. These suckers start their peeping at oh, about 5 am, and guess who gets up to pee and peep with them? Nina. She comes in our room at dusk and lemme tell you I am not one to wake up before my beauty sleep shift has been completed. But then, after she's come in, I hear the little tweeters singing their love songs and then I'm up for the day too.

Something must be done.

Adventures in the Big City

2008-05-04T19:42:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture of my choir singing at the Seventeenth Church of Christ, Scientist in downtown Chicago during the 2nd annual Looptopia (sorry - no links tonight - I'm using Safari and it sucks with Blogger!) It was a really weird venue to play in. While the acoustics were amazing, we performed at 6pm and it was brightly lit with no one in the audience, or the choir for that matter, consuming any alcohol. Some people looked entertained, while others looked puzzled and I think even a few slept. But what the hell - we looked good, right?? I didn't check out too much afterwards, although I saw some amazing break-dancers and a few drag queens lip-snyching to Madonna which reminded me of home.

After the big gig, I hooked up with an old friend from junior high (back when it was called that and not "middle school") and we had a fabulous time talking into the late night. It's so nice when you've known someone so long and still have so much in common. We talked and hung out so late, in fact, I missed the last train home. Oops. I'll just take a cab. Into the 'burbs. So it'll be a few bucks, well worth it to see an old friend. Well, since it was such a long cab ride, I, or course, fell asleep. I have this thing about moving vehicles. If I'm in one, I usually fall asleep, unless I'm driving. Anyway, the well-meaning cabbie tried to wake me, but by the time it registered to my frontal lobe, we were quite a ways south of my house. Let's just say I, as Kaveh did the next day, should have just driven.

The rest of the weekend was pretty blissful. Ballet class, Toys 'R Us to get a delux sandbox for the backyard, superhero birthday party that was fun for kids and their parents, beautiful weather, Kaveh spending hours assembling the deluxe sandbox (maybe not so blissful for him) and watching our incredibly kind and generous neighbor help him, strolling to the park and seeing and smelling all the gorgeous flowers, so many things. Yes, I suppose we're settling in to our not-so-new life here in Chicagoland.

But I still miss you - you all know who you are!! I wish you were here to dig in the sand and sip limeade under the Siberian Elm.

Pre-Pre-Pre-Teen Drama Queen

2008-05-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, lawdy what we're in store for.

Tea Time

2008-04-29T09:58:00.001-07:00

Last week Nina had her Kindergarten Tea at her future school. There wasn't really any tea, just water and some alphabet pretzels, but it was exciting nonetheless. She got to go into her new kinder room and do songs and coloring with her new teacher, Mrs. B while I got to go down the hall to meet and greet the parents. I saw many neighbors and met some very nice moms and in general had a warm and fuzzy feeling. I got teary-eyed too though when I left Nina in the classroom. Looking at her sitting at the table with her future classmates - she is so grown up! I swear I was just in labor with her! How is it that she's going to elementary school all of the sudden?

I know I'm sounding so cliche (how the heck do you do accents on this crazy thing?) right now about my baby going kindergarten, but it did pull out some strong emotions. I just better be sure to bring the tissues for her first day of school. Then I'll go home and watch a Lifetime for Women show.

Puppets

2008-04-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

This week my choir shot some footage for a music video a couple of guys are making. We each made own puppets and had them sing along to out recording of The Black Lips song "Bad Kids". Here's some of the creations from the group:

Mine is supposed to be a punk rocker but turned out looking more like a chicken!

Public or Private?

2008-04-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

Hello babies - sorry for the lag in posts. Now that spring has sprung time is in hyperspeed. Or maybe I'm just a little slow. Anyway, things are winding down at school now - only 6 more weeks of seeing my kids at work and than it's summer break! I swear I just moved into my new space and now it's coming to a close. I have really loved my assignment this year, but the beautiful thing is that I get a nice 2 1/2 month break to be with the kids and get some order back into life, hopefully.

Which brings me to the topic of this here post - next year I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I know I want to leave my current place of employment because it's a co-op, which is basically like a contracting agency, and each year it seems they will move me around and there's not a lot of security. Like take this year, I love my assignment, but for next year the district is not purchasing that position from my co-op, so I can't go back. I have applied to that district but they haven't even posted the position yet and it's all very confusing and frustrating. Sigh.

So in the last few weeks I've been freaking out about my future. I have always worked in the public schools and really love the school schedule (um, who wouldn't?), the sense of community in each school, just working in public education in general. I feel like I'm helping the needy. Sure, this year many of my students are rich and privileged, but many are not and certainly in the past I have worked with so many children from all over the world and different socioeconomic arenas.

But having been in this field for over 10 years now (!), part of me wants to branch out on my own. I did have a small private practice during my last year in SF and I enjoyed it. The money is good so you are (on paper) working less and making more. The involvement with the families is greater and I had the chance to work 1-1 with kids for a full hour at a time, rather than in the schools where it's 2 or 3 kids for 30 minutes. So why am I holding back? A big part is fear - fear of the not-as-steady income. If a kid is sick or if I'm sick, I don't get paid. Another huge issue is health insurance. Since Kaveh is a freelancer, we'd have to pay for our own health insurance and that's pretty major $$. But then again, I would be working less and with my kids more while at the same time probably bringing in the same or more $$.

What should I do - stay in the safety of the public schools (I have been applying to smaller districts around me) or make the big plunge to private practice? The issues are way more complicated than you care to read about, but neither answer is the perfect solution. The next month or so should be quite telling - so I'll keep you posted!

April Showers...

2008-04-10T19:43:00.001-07:00

Bring raincoat and rain boot powers!

Now I've Heard Everything

2008-04-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned that I work for a very wealthy suburban school district and have a big, beautiful office with lots of natural light and a view of $4 million dollar houses and horse farms, right? The resources at this school are pretty unbelievable and last week they put in a new school-wide intercom system. Now, as you walk down the hallways, you are soothed with the sounds of classical music coming from the ceiling. You feel as if you should be about to enter a massage room at some Japanese spa. Or shopping at the mall. Either way - weird!

Waterlogged

2008-04-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm not sure what Kaveh and I have done wrong, but we've got some bad karma going on here in Aah, La Grange. This past Friday night, right after Kaveh pours himself a nice scotch and water after a very long work week, he sits down in front of his computer to do his most favorite thing - read political blogs. According to him, I interrupted his reading and as he turns around to talk to me, ooops! There goes said scotch onto beloved Powerbook! He caught it pretty quickly though (unlike the time I knocked a bottle of water over and left it dripping onto the laptop for over an hour - but that's another entry) and it seems to be working fine now. Just every so often THE CAPS LOCK GOES ON BY ITSELF.

Okay, s0 that pretty much ruined Friday night, Saturday was a pretty darn good day with awesome weather, kids in good moods, hanging out outside, having a date night where we ate fabulous Colombian food and went to an actual adult party with no kids - splendid! Sunday started off great too - we went for a nature walk in Fullersberg Woods and then stopped by this awesome international food court near us and had some dim sum. While dining at this fine establishment, Nina needed to go to the bathroom and I, dutiful mother, accompanied her. When she finished she asked for a wipe (yes, I know, Mom, she should wipe her own tuss) and as I'm bending over, my brand new Palm cell phone (the one that took those awesome NY pics) landed in the toilet! At least it was only pee, right? Then what do I do? I dive in for it. I mean, what choice do I have?? I tried cleaning it, drying it out, chanting to it, singing to it. But as my neighbor Jim says, now every time I talk on the phone (and it is sort of working now), I will just be thinking of ass. Gee, thanks neighbor.

Hopefully nothing else will get water damaged this week, but I'm already freaking out about the rain that's expected tomorrow.

Talk to you soon, but hopefully not on the ass-phone.

New York, New York

2008-04-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

As I struggle to figure out how to post pictures off my new palm phone to the internet, I try to recall my brief but wonderful trip to NYC. After a minor delay in getting there, I enjoyed a quiet, uneventful flight - no checked baggage, no children whinning and complaining that they were hungry, thirsty, bored, homicidal. Just me and my trash magazine, my parenting book and an empty seat next to me. Aaah.

I arrived Friday afternoon and met my mom at the Midtown Hotel 30-30.. It was in a great location, and lucky for me, there just happened to be an art fair in the hotel, with different art galleries from all over the world being represented in different rooms on our floor. This was good for me, but not so great for Mom, who got annoyed by the art-folk immediately. This was one of the highlights of the show - a genuine Howard Finster. You can't really see the amazing detail in this mirror, but it was a hundred adorable dancing cloud ladies - so sweet: I also saw a Henry Darger painting, and he is the epitome of cute and evil.

Mom and I went to my favorite store, ABC Carpet and Home, which is a bit like being in some sort of Middle Eastern bazaar. Here is a picture of my mom and some incredibly gorgeous chandeliers:
The jewelry there was exquisite as well and inspired me to start metal smithing again. In my free time. Uh, yeah.

That night we ate at the best restaurant ever, Hagawi, a vegetarian Korean place. Highly recommended are the spicy rice cakes, pumpkin porridge and coconut blueberry cake - all vegan! After eating we walked around a bit, then headed back to the hotel where this creature greeted us:

Don't you just love a life-sized smurf? I explored the art opening, had free beer and cupcakes, then went to meet my friends for a drink in the east village. Am I cool or what?

The next day was shopping and makeovers on 5th Avenue. I got made over at Begdorff-Goodmans and felt obligated to spend $100 on make-up, which is actually getting off pretty easy. Here's mom relaxing at Barney's:
I hung out with her most of the day Saturday, then in the evening I packed up my bags and went to my friend Nat's apartment on the lower east side. My friend Robert came down from Provincetown for the weekend, and the three of us had a little reunion - we had all met in SF about 14 years ago and have had lots of fun times together over the years. I got to ride on the back of Nat's bike (that's bicycle, not motorcycle) to a restaurant in the east village. It was a little scary but I trust Nat from the days of riding me around the playa at Burning Man. Anyway, Nat, who is an ethnobotanist, wanted to take us to get "corn smut" for dinner. What is corn smut, you ask? Apparently it's some sort of fungus that grows on corn that tastes so darn good they started cultivating it. But sadly, the shoebox-sized restaurant was full, so we went to a mediocre health food place instead.

After dinner we went to Williamsburg for a party in a cool artist warehouse. Apparently it was a moving party for a friend of Nat's and they were converting the building to high-end apartments. No surprise there. The people were nice and there was a easy-listening band that sounded like Jack Johnson. I talked with my friends and made a few new ones and it was just an overall pleasant evening. We ended up back at Nat's place pretty late but I didn't even feel tired. New York has so much energy - it's like you don't need sleep at all. Good thing I don't live there!

Sunday morning it was time to return home to reality, but not before hitting the famous Doughnut Plant and bagel place. I had to bring a little of NY back on the plane with me. Here's Robert in front of the best donuts on the planet:

You must try the Valrhona chocolate donuts! MMM, donuts.

I could go on about my trip, but I know I've gone on too long already. Three cheers for NY and mommy's get-away weekend! It was so great to see everyone and thanks to Mom, Nat and Robert for the good times.

Where shall we go next spring break?